tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56249403964763027842024-03-12T19:59:10.540-05:00Andy's Poem PlanetAndy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.comBlogger375125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-88216923705984812162021-10-26T16:42:00.000-05:002021-10-26T16:42:07.418-05:00Pumpkin Season<p><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">It’s Pumpkin Season once again, </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">My favorite time of year.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin latte, pumpkin cheesecake, </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin pint of beer!</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin muffins every morning,</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin pie at night,</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin romance cuddled up</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">By pumpkin candlelight.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin tacos every Tuesday,</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pot of pumpkin soup,</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Bit of pumpkin indigestion,</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Bit of pumpkin poop.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin daydreams, Pumpkin nightmares,</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin palpitations.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Orange-yellow-autumn-spiced</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Halluci-pumpkin-ations!</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Nothing stops the tolling of the</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin Season Bell.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin goblins, pumpkin devils,</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumpkin Depths of HELL!</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Someone end it! Someone save us!</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Someone pull us through!</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Buy-One-Get-One Pumpkin Donut?</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Don’t mind if I do!</p>Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-637290463964366452020-07-13T17:47:00.001-05:002020-07-13T17:47:35.894-05:00More Than<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">More than all the stars that light</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The inky velvet sky,</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">More than sparkles that ignite</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The fourth day of July,</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">More than every grain of sand</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">On every moonlit beach,</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">More than every fuzzy strand</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">On every ripened peach,</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">More than songs can sing about</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And more than words can say,</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">More than ferrets ferret out</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And more than horses neigh.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">More than spoiled aristocrats </span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Love patriarchal power,</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">More than chips need salsa—that’s</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">How much I need a shower.</span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-71994983064666611752020-01-29T21:48:00.001-06:002020-01-29T21:48:07.575-06:00Casey at the Screen<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The outlook wasn’t good in my wood-paneled den that day:</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">My brother still had twenty lives—I’d never get to play.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">But when ol’ nature called him off to do what he must do,</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I seized my moment—and his chair—for <i>Baseball Legends 2.</i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><i></i></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I blew the cartridge, sniffed the dust, and powered up the game,</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Just one short inning on my way to everlasting fame.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">My eyelids tightened, fingers flexed, and brow a little sweaty,</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I skipped the menu, chose “1 Player,” got my thumb tips ready.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">A nimble flick through all the players set the perfect roster,</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">A licensed-image Hall of Fame without a sole imposter.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Then up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-B-A-Start</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">To fully load my players’ stats and set my team apart.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The sky was blue, the field was fresh, the stands were packed with dots</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Who cheered on a three-second loop and wiggled in their spots.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And when the starting pitch was thrown, I mashed with all my might—</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">A rad three-button combo that would send it out of sight.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">But at the crucial moment when it mattered like no other,</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">My head was smacked upside itself by my returning brother!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">“Get up!” he cried, “I’m telling mom, ’cause I was playing first!”</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And then he purple-nurpled me. He really is the worst.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">With gritted teeth I tensed my grip around the grey controller.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">For hours I had watched him through another dull side-scroller!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And now that it was my turn, well, I would not be defeated.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">He’d made me miss my first swing, but that could not be repeated!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">But with his elbow ’round my neck, I swung again and missed!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The players jeered, my brother laughed, the tiny crowd-dots hissed.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I punched him as the third pitch came, I heard him trip and fall,</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Then focused on the slowly floating pixellated ball.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">A whisper of eternity resounded in the den,</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I cleared my mind and exhaled in a state of Jedi Zen.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And, tuning out my brother and the pounding in my chest,</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I watched it, timed it, waited for my moment, and I pressed.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Oh, somewhere in this neighborhood the kids are filled with joy,</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">There’s celebration somewhere for some somewhere girl or boy.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And somewhere there are high-fives, and somewhere there’s a hug.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">But there is no joy in our house—mighty Mom has pulled the plug.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-5146121912740054692019-05-24T16:31:00.000-05:002019-05-24T16:31:17.080-05:00Ay, There’s The Rub<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Oh I’m the genie of the lamp,</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">And you have set me free.</span><span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"> </span><span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I’ll sing a song, stretch out my cramp,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">And grant you wishes three. </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I won’t sit on the sidelines,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I’ll get straight to work for you. </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">But first, some rules, some guidelines,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">There’s some things that I can’t do. </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I can’t make people fall in love,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I can’t undo the past,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I can’t move planets up above,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I can’t make time go fast.</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I cannot bring you riches,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">And I will not maim or kill,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I’d rather not soothe itches</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Or clean up a diaper spill. </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I don’t do windows, won’t do floors,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I cannot bring World Peace,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I will not help you with your chores,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I won’t co-sign your lease. </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I can’t transport you places,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">And I can’t change your appearance,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I can’t affect horse races,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Or find hot new styles on clearance. </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">A friend like me, you’ve never had—</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">No need to quake and cower. </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">You want to be a Prince? Too bad. </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">That’s just beyond my power. </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">But what I do, I do so well</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Your mind will come unglued. </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">From in the lamp where I do dwell,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I’ll bring you any food!</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Whatever you are hungry for,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">A meal, a snack, a treat,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Just make a wish or three—no more—</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">And pretty soon, you’ll eat!</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">You make your wish and give a nod,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I bring your food out later. </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I’m not a wizard, not a god. </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I’m basically a waiter. </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Text"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-72883521889791599492019-04-01T20:42:00.002-05:002019-04-01T20:42:10.397-05:00Closing Argument<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">“Your honor, the defendant stands accused before the court</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Of crimes quite reprehensible. The list is none too short.</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Three counts of grand theft auto with a rusty old machete,</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Two counts of public lewdness with a plate of cold spaghetti,</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Obstructing heavy traffic wearing only a fedora,</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Conducting a Bar Mitzvah with a giant gummi Torah,</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Misspelling girlfriends’ names on half a dozen big tattoos,</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Removing final chapters from a shelf of Nancy Drews,</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Kidnapping a koala from a wildlife sanctuary,</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Assaulting strangers dressed up as the ‘Random Beat-Down Fairy,’</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Providing pure ghost pepper juice to quench his grandma’s thirst,</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And thirty-seven separate counts of murder in the first.</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Your honor, he must answer for each horrible offense.”</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">“Agreed. Now do you have a thing to say in your defense?”</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The little man inhaled and eyed the jury on their stools,</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And then he offered his defense: “Your honor . . . APRIL FOOLS!”</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-21997061175478283972019-03-06T13:24:00.000-06:002019-03-06T13:24:10.113-06:00The Works<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Hello? I’d like a pizza, please,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A deep dish extra large.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And on one half I want the works,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">No matter what the charge.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">That’s pepperoni, sausage, onions,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Mushrooms, turnip greens,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Sun-dried tomato, pineapple,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Some tiny jelly beans,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Dill pickle slices, candy corn,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Those salty little fishes,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Six chocolate chips, five onion rings,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Four pretzel rods, three wishes,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">An eye of newt, some batwing flakes,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Green peppers, bacon bits,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The essence of a dying star,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A glob of cheesy grits,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Blue diamonds, purple horseshoes,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Garlic chicken, clotted cream,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Black olives, gummy peaches,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And a newborn baby’s dream.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">So that’s the first half, that’s the works,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And extra napkins, please.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And on the other half? Let’s see . . .</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I guess I’ll go with . . . cheese.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 15px;">
<br /><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-1369032818209709282019-02-20T11:31:00.002-06:002019-02-20T11:32:43.756-06:00Dream Cheese<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span>
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I was hungry, just a smidge, </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">So I opened up my fridge,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And I pawed through every bottle, jar, and can.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">As I feasted both my eyes, </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I was taken by surprise</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">By a tiny balding six-inch little man!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">“I’m the cottage cheese,” he said,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">“For, you see, you’re still in bed,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And this dream you’re having sure is very strange.”</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Well, a moment then went by,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And this tiny balding guy</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Gave a hefty belch and then began to change.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He became a pink banana,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And he sang “Copacabana,”</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">While he shook his two maracas and he twirled.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Then a flash of light exploded,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The banana growed and growded,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And became the biggest sausage in the world!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">As I watched him, still in slumber,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He became a big cucumber,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Then a fully tricked out sixties muscle car.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Then a wiener in a bun,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And before the job was done,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">For some reason he became a big cigar.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It was this point in my dreaming</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I could feel the subtext screaming</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And, I tell you, I began to get annoyed.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Oh I swear, tomorrow night</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I will just turn out the light</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And I <i>won’t</i> sit up late reading Dr. Freud!</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-53963156219470761902018-12-31T16:52:00.001-06:002018-12-31T16:52:53.004-06:00New Years Countdown<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">10 is for the new friends I befriended,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">9 is for the ones I drove away.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">8 is how I ate too much at Christmas,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">7 is the extra pounds I weigh,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">6 is for my major faults in judgment,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">5 is just how many I’ll admit.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">4 is for last year’s new resolutions,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">3 is for the days before I quit.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">2 is for the two of us together,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">1 is just ’cause you’re the one for me.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Happy New Year to my favorite person,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Who makes each year my favorite time to be!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 15px;">
<br /></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-50500849629562748992018-11-19T16:43:00.002-06:002018-11-19T16:43:31.785-06:00Prince Charmin<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">There’s a damsel in distress!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">She’s stranded on the bowl!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">She cries out, “Someone help me,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">For I haven’t got a roll!”</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He’s at her side in seconds, </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">With a speed a bit alarmin’.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He’s bold, prepared, and fearless—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Feast your eyes upon Prince Charmin!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He plunders every cabinet</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">To bring a fresh supply!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He’s stocked the plain, the quilted,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And the precious triple-ply.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">His skills are legendary</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And his smile’s a bit disarmin’.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He’s kindly and embraceable,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">But please don’t squeeze Prince Charmin!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And when his job is over</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And his duty has been done,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He hears a cry for help, and now</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Another quest’s begun!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Prince Charmin doesn’t grumble,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And Prince Charmin doesn’t groan—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He’s destined to be next in line,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">But never on the throne.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-69562322425070747102018-07-27T17:31:00.001-05:002018-07-27T17:31:56.323-05:00Ode to the TARDIS Outside the Earls Court Tube Station<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I can’t believe my luck today,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">‘Cause right here on the street</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I found a time-and-space machine</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">To make my life complete! </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And—holy moly, look at that!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">This thing still has one credit!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">So I can take a trip for free—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Now, where and when to set it?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Perhaps I’ll see the Renaissance—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Old Shakespeare and his lot.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Or ride astride a T-Rex in</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The Land that Time Forgot!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Or maybe I’ll explore</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The forty-second century,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">See ray guns, starships, robots</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And all things adventurey!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I could head into outer space,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Fly rings around the sun,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And cross five distant nebulae</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Before the day’s begun.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’d steer around Uranus</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Where the poison gases smother.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Or was that on Urelbow?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I don’t know one from the other.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Then interfere in some far off</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Galactic Federation,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And tyrannize a microscopic</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Plant civilization.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I only get one chance at this,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">One time-and-spacey stop.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I can’t believe I found it—</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’m so happy I could POP!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I know—I’ll just go back five minutes </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Right here in this place.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Right back to when I found it—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I just HAVE to see my FACE!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-11346060844657422472018-07-25T11:22:00.002-05:002018-07-25T11:24:15.661-05:00Me Land<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
I’ve opened up a theme park,</div>
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Oh, it’s wonderful to see!</div>
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A land of pure enchantment,</div>
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For the theme I picked is “Me!”</div>
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<br /></div>
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At “Me Land” you can be like me!</div>
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You’ll eat and sleep and play,</div>
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You’ll dine and dance and shop and spend</div>
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And do it all MY way!</div>
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<br /></div>
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To ride the rides you have to be</div>
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At least Me-inches tall. </div>
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It’s worth it, though, to ride on</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
“It’s a Me World After All.”</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
There’s twenty-seven meet and greets,</div>
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Each with a costumed Me!</div>
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The “Festival of Me” parade</div>
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Runs daily ten to three. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
The restaurants serve what I like—</div>
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Rice pudding in a can. </div>
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No substitutions, if you please,</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
It’s paid for in your plan. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
At “Me Shop” down on “Me Street”</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
Make a brand new “Build-A-Me!”</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
It’s thirty-seven fifty,</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
But the “Me Scent Pod” is free!</div>
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<br /></div>
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So if you need some wonderment,</div>
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You know just what to do. </div>
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Just come on down to “Me Land,” friend,</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
Where all my dreams come true!</div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-24966761327781960252018-07-22T17:38:00.002-05:002018-07-22T17:38:42.232-05:00Jumbo-Sized<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I went to buy a muffin at my local muffin store.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The man said I could jumbo-size for thirty-nine cents more.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’m pretty sure I got much more than I had bargained for.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’ve never lived inside a three-floor bran muffin before!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Now maybe you will not believe this woeful pastry story.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Perhaps you think it’s something like a half-baked allegory.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">But here I am, encased in crumby, sticky purgatory!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">(They also come in blueberry and vegan morning glory).</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">From dawn to dusk I nibble, nosh, eat up, chow down, and munch,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The walls are soft and pliable, the chimney has a crunch.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’ve been at this for weeks now, and I sadly have a hunch,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I may live out my days ensnared in puffy perma-brunch!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">My mouth I cram, my face I fill, my belly I’ve been stuffin’,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I feel my guts expanding as my arteries all toughen!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’ve threatened legal action, but the baker knows I’m bluffin’.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A pox upon this cursèd giant loathsome yummy muffin!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">If I could order it again, I’m sure I would revise it.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I thought that more was better, but I’m starting to despise it!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Oh please bring me a can of paint—at least I can disguise it!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Or better yet, bring coffee—but be sure to jumbo-size it!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<br /><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-13555920006673817712018-07-16T17:06:00.001-05:002018-07-16T17:06:26.884-05:00A Healthy Romance<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
If I were a potato </div>
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Growing down beneath a tree,</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
I’d always keep my eyes peeled </div>
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Just to find the one for me. </div>
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<br /></div>
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And if I were a cornstalk </div>
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Growing golden up above,</div>
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I’d give the world an earful </div>
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Just to find the one I love. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
Oh if I were a broccoli in love, </div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
I’d just adore it!</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
I’d point my car toward romance </div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
And, my darling, I would floret!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
If I were but a pepper, </div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
I’d hope love would ring my bell. </div>
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And if I were a cabbage, </div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
I might lose my head as well!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
Oh and if I were a carrot, </div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
Then true love is what I’d root for. </div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
And if I were bamboo, </div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
Why then you know it’s what I’d shoot for. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
But since I am a fungus, </div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
And it’s you that I adore,</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
I hope that you’ll accept these puns—</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
There’s not mushroom for more!</div>
<br />Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-34208737287806175042018-06-22T16:35:00.001-05:002018-06-22T16:35:42.331-05:00No Time To Rhyme!<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">There’s no time to rhyme today,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">No time at all!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I woke up two hours too late.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I slipped from the shower spray,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Had a great fall,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And burned half the food on my plate!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The traffic was frightening,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Ungodly, unreal!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A truck of canned turnips exploded!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A big bolt of lightning—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A clap and a peal!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And all of the lights overloaded!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And now I’m at work</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And the boss is approaching</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">To royally chew out my hide.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">That big stupid jerk</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Is reproaching, encroaching,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It just boils my bran flakes inside!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">So there’s no time to rhyme today.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Sorry, old friend!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">My glossary’s stuck on its shelf.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">But hey, it’s okay,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">You can mend this loose end!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">You’ll just have to fend for yourself!</span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-72247754585199278552018-06-19T13:51:00.002-05:002018-06-19T13:51:20.244-05:00Master of Allusion!<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Here for every party need,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">No holiday exclusion,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He’ll entertain you, guaranteed!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The Master of Allusion!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">There’s nothing he won’t reference</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">As he weaves his magic spell.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">No work he won’t show deference</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">As he wows his clientele.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He’s sharper than a serpent’s tooth</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And fast as Mr. Fusion!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">More radical than John Wilkes Booth— </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The Master of Allusion!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Behold how like a wizard</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He entrances and delights!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He’s clever as a gizzard!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Curtain up and light the lights!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Like Han, he’s just a solo act—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He swears there’s NO COLLUSION!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">An Indy-worthy artifact,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The Master of Allusion!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">His mind is vast, his will is strong,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">His gray stuff is delicious!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And when he’s done, he bids “So long,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And thanks for all the fishes!”</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And then beams out, disapparates,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">In clouds of thick confusion.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">He’s also, as his webpage states,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A Master of Elusion!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<br /><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-87231454547449490552018-05-23T08:34:00.001-05:002018-05-23T08:34:21.641-05:00Not Sold in Stores!<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">It slices, it dices, it chips, and it chops,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It perfectly grills any cheese!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It clears and it washes, it sweeps and it mops,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It folds all the laundry with ease!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 11px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It dusts and it polishes, takes out the trash,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And restocks the pantry tout de suite!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It fixes a salad for four in a flash,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Without even missing a beet.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 11px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It juices, it squeezes, it instantly freezes,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And cleans it all up in a snap!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It shaves and it waxes! It plucks and it tweezes!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It puts away all of your crap!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 11px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s handy! It’s dandy! It’s worth any price!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s certainly not sold in stores!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And what do we call this delightful device?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s YOU, dear, now go do your chores!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 9px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 11px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-88765368208320783202018-01-17T14:21:00.000-06:002018-01-17T14:22:02.179-06:00Grocery Panic! (Alabama Edition)<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Grab some milk and get that bleach!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Cans of soup, ten dollars each.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Come on people, do your part,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Got to load the shopping cart!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Beans and rice, and rice and beans,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Hot dog buns and tangerines,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Shop until your legs are sore!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Empty out the grocery store!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Ice cream, white bread, diet cola,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Thirteen pounds of bulk granola,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Note cards, light bulbs, batteries,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">One of every kind of cheese,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Tapioca, ginger root,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">All remaining Kiwi fruit!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Faster, now, before they rot!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Food for Fido! Food for Spot!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Pre-made chicken, batter-fried!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Shove your rivals to the side!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">No time to be nice today!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Winter storm is on its way!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Quickly, now, we’re in a pinch—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">They say we’ll get a quarter inch!</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-77722448199864279332017-12-31T22:40:00.001-06:002017-12-31T22:41:16.606-06:00Resolutions<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Next year I will conquer more</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And smite my enemies.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Next year I will just ignore </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Their puny mewling pleas.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Next year I will show persistence,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Decimate my foes.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Next year I will CRUSH resistance,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">All who would oppose!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Next year I’ll command my fleet</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And dominate the world.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">All will tremble at my feet</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">When next year’s plan’s unfurled. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">But tonight I’ll bathe the cat</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And give green beans a try. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Mom said if I can’t do that</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I’m grounded ’til July!</span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-55442954690296673492017-12-17T11:34:00.002-06:002017-12-17T11:34:33.740-06:00ToyHenge<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Look there, on the horizon, how it rises from the land,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">With mystic deep significance we’ll never understand.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A timepiece? Temple? Garden sculpture? Act of sweet revenge?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It might be all, it might be none. Behold, the Great ToyHenge!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">At least a dozen plush toys form its monumental base;</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">They’re topped by seven “Ultra Battle Frogs from Outer Space.”</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Plus several hundred Legos and some upright building blocks,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A brand new “Señor Tater Man” who’s still inside his box,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Two dolls, a couple Jedis, twenty-seven tiny trucks,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Assembled killer robots and assorted rubber ducks,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Some balls and wands and ponies and this thing that lights and spins,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A puzzle cube that everybody hates and no one wins,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The tokens from a board game that was lost to ages past,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And heaps of plastic bric-a-brac to wow and flabbergast.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The untrained eye might easily mistake it for a pile,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">But ToyHenge holds deep mysteries that bother and beguile.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And every day it lingers, and its makers’ legend grows.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Who they were, or what they all were doing, no one knows.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">But legend tells that they’ll return to put it all away—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Within the next ten minutes, or there’s no dessert today!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-25906012281295251962017-08-19T14:14:00.001-05:002017-08-19T14:14:53.593-05:00If You Speak<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">If you speak for hope and laughter,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Random acts of love,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">If you speak for kindness</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">And the radiance thereof,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">If you speak for beauty </span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">In each person that you see,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">If you speak for all these things,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Why, then, you speak for me. </span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">If you speak for those without,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Or those who've lost their way,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">If you speak for making something</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Better every day,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">If you speak for mercy</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Even to the smallest flea,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">If you speak for charity,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Why, then, you speak for me. </span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">And if you should have troubles</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Or be battered by the storm,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Or if the hearth of fellowship</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Should fail to keep you warm,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">If the darkness closes in</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">With everything you do,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">And if your voice is small and weak,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Then, friend, I'll speak for you. </span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-78821558146082384722017-08-04T15:26:00.001-05:002017-08-04T15:26:07.961-05:00Ode to an Ode<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">O Ode, thou perfectest of all expression,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Thy words well-chosen and thy structure sound</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Enable the most intimate confession</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Of thoughts which otherwise would soon be drowned</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Beneath the sea of fortune, still and black</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Against whose shores my heart would run aground.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
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<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Thou ruminateth like the chewing yak</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">On any object which hast thou inspired—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">An objet d’art or — ah — a fresh Big Mac.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And O, the truth and beauty thou hast sired</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Would render wisdom to the lunatic. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">O Ode! O Form! O Poem most admired!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Yet still, for just a naughty little kick,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Thou matchest not the dirty limerick.</span></div>
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Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-17152867645136180632017-08-03T21:02:00.001-05:002017-08-03T21:03:14.236-05:00The Pains of Love: A Sonnet<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Oh love, how I do suffer to be thine,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">With sharp afflictions tormenting my form.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Without thy love, the shivers rush my spine</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Like biting frozen cake I thought was warm.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The longing of my heart, it pulls at me</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Much like my sock doth tug my hanging nail.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Thou knowest not how I have burned for thee,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Like chili pepper scorching my entrail.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The pain I feel, how reminiscent of</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">My neck’s mild pang from sleeping on it funny.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">If thou shalt not consent to share my love,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’ll melt with sorrow like a nose that’s runny.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I hope my meaning thou canst soon unriddle—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I dieth for thy love, but just a little.</span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-34731988648607924862017-07-31T12:54:00.003-05:002017-07-31T12:55:21.658-05:00Your Weather Forecast<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
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<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">It’s looking like a tricky night for weather in the city.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">There’s lots of trouble on the way, and travel won’t be pretty.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The chance we'll get some thunderstorms is sixty-five percent,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Plus winds that make you say some words you’d given up for Lent.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The chance of snow’s at four percent, and three percent it’s sleet,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And two percent it’s little tiny flecks of luncheon meat.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s likely you’ll see dime-sized hail, no matter where you are—</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Plus one just like a bowling ball that lands upon your car.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Expect to hit the tail end of a Category Four,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">So stock up on your bleach and milk and white bread at the store.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">We should get bolts of laser rain descending from the sky,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Plus streaks of fire that reek of angry judgment from on high.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">We’ve made this nightly forecast with the best tools that we’ve got.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">The chance is one percent it’s true, and ninety-nine it’s not.</span></div>
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Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-69178428424228494902017-07-29T16:15:00.002-05:002017-07-29T16:16:10.783-05:00Side Effects May Include<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
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<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">You may develop headaches which will last for several hours. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">You may break out in tiny hives before your daily showers. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A ring of greenish suction marks may show up on your tongue. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Your nose may tingle slightly at the scent of ferret dung. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A prejudice may cross your mind against select Norwegians. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">You may imagine rows of ants along your nether regions. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">You'll either feel extreme fatigue and loss of appetite,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Or else your eyes will see through space and time with super-sight. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Your face may swell to seven times its customary size. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">A tribe of angry polka dots may colonize your thighs. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">But once your spleen grows back and all your taste buds have stopped twitching,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #454545; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">Then if this drug does what it should, your armpit should stop itching!</span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624940396476302784.post-81721255311843174492017-07-28T13:42:00.001-05:002017-07-28T13:43:30.374-05:00What if?<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
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<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">What if there’s a blizzard? Or seven feet of rain?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if giant lizard men come down to eat my brain?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if all my pets escape and run into the woods?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if pirates come and plunder all our neighborhoods?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if a tornado comes and whooshes us away?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if a tomato monster squooshes me today?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if there’s a nest of mole rats living in my hair?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if there’s a massive problem in my underwear?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if I get super powers and a super mission?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if I get jelly babies stuck in my transmission?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if our internal organs all swell up and BURST?!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal; min-height: 12px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Would we still have this test today?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">We would?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">Ugh, you’re the worst.</span></div>
Andy Clintonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201443412043608593noreply@blogger.com0