Counting Sheep

I stayed awake all night again,

I couldn’t fall asleep.

It just was too exciting

Counting all those awesome sheep!

One sheep was black, one sheep was white,

Three sheep were forest green,

And one sheep was the brightest shade

Of gold I’ve ever seen!

Eleven sheep sailed by skis

And leapt across the gates!

Two sheep bounced by on pogo sticks,

Four sheep on roller skates.

One sheep sang songs, another drummed,

With two sheep on guitar.

One sheep played mini-golf

And managed six strokes under par!

A super-sheep with wool of steel

Flew down from clouds above.

It rescued a reporter sheep;

They swiftly fell in love.

And all the while the background sheep

Kept marching side by side,

They bleated ever louder

As their numbers multiplied.

The sheep all entertained me

From my head down to my socks.

Next time I need to fall asleep,

I’ll count a cardboard box.

My Friendly Cat

Oh nobody’s cat is as friendly as mine--

She purrs and she cuddles and licks.

Whenever she sees me her eyes start to shine,

She dances and sings and does tricks.

She chases the flashlight, she sits in my lap,

She brings me the trinkets she’ll find.

She’ll often come join in my afternoon nap--

She’s happy to see me unwind.

She once made me pancakes with eggs on the side.

She once even polished my car.

When I went to Paris, she served as my guide--

Ma chat, c’est une chat très bizarre!

She redid my bathroom and unclogged the drain.

My taxes, she handled with ease.

She balanced my books in her kitty-sized brain,

And even made peace with her fleas.

Oh why is my cat such a good helpful friend?

I may never quite understand...

Most likely her kindness is merely pretend

To cover the evil she’s planned.

Louie's Lazy Toys

Pry yourselves up off your couches,

Lazy girls and boys!

Come on down and browse the aisles

At Louie’s Lazy Toys!

Our cars won’t turn to robots,

And our bears don’t sing or dance.

Our little ponies sleep a lot—

They never run or prance.

We’ve sprung Jack from the box for you,

Our puzzles are all-done.

Our tricycles are stuck in “park.”

Our board games come pre-won.

Three aisles of new inaction figures—

These are just fantastic!

They’re always new and never played with,

Trapped behind the plastic.

Our trains refuse to choo-choo,

They just sit there on the track.

Our jump-ropes barely hop at all,

Our building blocks won’t stack.

At Louie’s Lazy Toys,

You’ll never need to stretch your mind.

Just buy the nearest toy,

And sit back down on your behind.

It really doesn’t matter

What you pick up from our shelves.

Just hurry down and buy one soon—

These things won’t sell themselves!

The Gecko and his Echo

There once was a gecko

Without any echo.

It caused him a great deal of shame.

Every day he would go

To the canyon below

And call out his ridiculous name.

“Grackle-targle-tee-doh

Phil-a-ranking-ton-toe!”

Cried the gecko, then added, “The Third!”

Then he’d angle his ear

In the hopes that he’d hear

It repeated—but never a word!

Oh the sadness and sorrow,

Today and tomorrow,

Our lizard friend felt from his lack!

He may have sticky feet,

But he felt incomplete

With no echo to answer him back!

It went on, day by day,

In the very same way.

He would try for an echo, and fail.

To the canyon he’d go,

Call his name high and low.

He tried hard, but to little avail.

Then, one hot afternoon

In the third week of June,

He climbed out on a rocky outcropping.

He puffed up like a lime,

Then this one final time

He prepared for some heavy name-dropping.

“Grackle-targle-tee-doh

Phil-a-ranking-ton— OH!”

In surprise, he had snapped his jaw shut!

For before he got through it,

The rocks listened to it,

And sent back an echoing “WHAT?!”

Well, the gecko was shocked,

And he nearly was knocked

On his bottom in startled surprise.

Then he started to grin,

For this felt like a win

After so many frustrating tries.

He repeated his name,

But was stopped just the same

By the echo, confused as could be.

“There’s a reason,” it sighed,

“Why I’ve never replied—

I can’t tell what you’re saying to me!”

“Just my name,” said the gecko.

“Oh won’t you please echo

It back? After all, it’s your job!”

“Listen, gecko,” it said,

“Can’t you call yourself Fred?

Or Tyrone? Or Ricardo? Or Bob?

“If a short name you call,

I’ll remember it all!

Doesn’t matter how quiet or loud.”

But the gecko called, “NO!”

To the canyon below.

“It’s a good name, important and proud!”

Well, the wind whistled by

Through the air, hot and dry,

But the echo was totally quiet.

Then it whispered, “Okay.

If you’ll teach me the way,

I suppose it won’t hurt me to try it.”

Cried the gecko, “Of course!”

Then he laughed himself hoarse.

“And don’t worry if you make mistakes!

"We can start it off slow,

You can learn as you go,

And I’ll stay here as long as it takes!”

So he patiently taught,

And his friend heard and thought,

Which was more than enough for the pair.

And the name of that gecko

Forever will echo

Triumphantly over the air!

Up In The Sky!

With the wind beneath my costume

And the world below my cape,

I’m the hero of my city!

Trim and toned, in perfect shape!

Not a bullet passes through me,

Not a freeze-ray frosts my face.

Every hair upon my perfect head

Falls neatly into place.

Oh my powers are outstanding

And my strength beyond compare!

Every bad-guy, crook, and villain

Hides and trembles in his lair!

All the crime completely crumbled

In the days since I arrived.

Only peace, goodwill, and mercy

Are the virtues that survived.

So I proudly watch my people

From the skies I’ve often soared.

They’re so helpful, kind, and caring,

And so perfect . . . I’m so bored!

The Perfect Wedding

A pig and a panda named Greg and Amanda

Were planning, one summer, to wed.

Said panda to pig, “I’m afraid I’m too big

For my veil to fit over my head!”

“Amanda, my dear,” said the piggy, “it’s clear

That the veil-maker made a mistake.

We’ll return to the shop, they’ll re-measure your top,

Then we’ll go out and pick out a cake!”

So without any pouting, they started their outing

And went to the bridal boutique.

But then, to their dismay, the door said, “We’re away

On vacation the rest of the week.”

“Oh, what will we do?” sighed Amanda, so blue

That she hung her huge head down in sorrow.

“If we don’t have a veil, I’m afraid we will fail

To be ready to marry tomorrow!”

Greg the pig hugged his bride, then his eyes opened wide—

An idea had come over the pig!

“It won’t matter at all if your veil is too small,

For my top hat is slightly too big!

“If we trade them tonight, they will fit us just right.

I can be the first pig-groom in lace,

As long as my bride is right there by my side

With my top hat above her sweet face.”

So that’s just what they did; each one got a new lid.

Neither one was too big or too little.

Then a cake of fine slop with a heart on the top

And a ring of bamboo in the middle.

The next day at the wedding, they kept on forgetting

Which one was the bride or the groom.

They were dressed half-and-halfed, but they danced and they laughed,

And their love made the wildflowers bloom.

Free Time

My daddy has the TV on,

My mommy’s in the bath.

My brother’s on the phone again,

My sister’s doing math.

My grandpa’s at the grocery store,

My grandma’s playing chess.

My uncle’s in the kitchen,

Cookin’ stew and makin’ mess.

My aunt took all my cousins

For a triple ice-cream cone.

I guess I’ll have to put the dog

In makeup all alone.