Five-Minute Pickle Delivery Service!

All out of pickles? Your sandwich is dry?

Well, call our new hotline and give us a try!

Just pick up the phone now, no need to be nervous.

Call Five-Minute Pickle Delivery Service!

In under five minutes, no joke, guaranteed,

We'll speed to your side with the side dish you need!

Some slices, some stackers, a half, whole, or spear--

Don't pick up your pickles; we pack them up here!

And then, with our patented pickle-shaped trucks,

We bring you your order for just fifty bucks!

The sweet ones!  The hot ones!  A nice kosher dill!

In under five minutes, we'll bring you your fill!

There's no competition, we're awfully clever!

We've poured all our savings into this endeavor!

Plus two business loans and some money from Dad

To bring you the fastest best pickles you've had!

Stop moping and go give your cell phone a tickle--

Five minutes, and you'll have a smile and a pickle!

And call back next week when we proudly unveil

Our "We're In A Pickle" Store Bankruptcy Sale!