Do It Yourself

Get me a plunger, get me a wrench,

Grab me the rag that’s on top of the bench.

Hand me a screwdriver, give me a hand,

Pull on this flexible black rubber band.

Go find a clothespin, a clamp, or a clip,

Hand me a sponge to go under this drip.

Bring me the pliers, give it a flush,

Go get some towels to soak up the gush!

Get me a bucket! Get me a mop!

Get me a wizard to make it all stop!

Throw me a trash can—I don’t care what size!

Toss me some goggles, it got in my eyes!

Go find my raincoat, my boots and umbrella!

Why does this goo look like fresh mozzarella?!

Find me a wet-vac with turbo-charged pump!

GET ME A REALTOR—I’M SELLING THIS DUMP!