Day Off

Hooray!  Hooray!  I’m off today!

No need to go to work!

It’s some dead big shot’s holiday—

A day to lounge and shirk!

An extra hour or two in bed,

Then breakfast on the couch.

Why put on pants?  I think, instead,

I’ll scratch and sag and slouch.

My “Elf Lord Seven” DVD

Has tons of bonus features.

I’ll settle in for hour three

Of “Building Squishy Creatures.”

And then a game show marathon,

And then two hours of “Friends."

Just sitting with my bathrobe on—

The wonder never ends!

And when my hunger comes on strong,

When my remote-hand quivers,

I’ll voice-dial and, before too long,

The Chinese place delivers!

And when my boss calls up to shriek,

All huffy, gruff, and mad,

To say the holiday’s next week,

Well, I won’t be too sad.

He’ll say if I don’t come in soon,

I can’t come in tomorrow.

Has anybody got cartoons

On Blu-Ray I can borrow?