Collect Them All!

When the lights came in my window

And the ground beneath me shook,

I’ll admit that I was nervous,

And I didn’t want to look.

When they beamed me to their spaceship

In the middle of the night,

I was slightly more than nervous--

I was paralyzed with fright!

When they tossed me to one side

Between some boxes and some jars,

And they hit the gas and headed back

To race between the stars,

Then I started to be curious

And wonder for a while.

Why on Earth would they come take me

Just to toss me in a pile?

So I peeked inside the boxes,

And undid a lid or three.

What I found was most surprising--

There was nothing else like me!

First a feathered Martian poodle

Licked me with its spiky tongue,

Then I chanced to meet a rainbow bee

Who whistled while he stung.

Then a purple pickled pepper

And a three-winged jumbo bat,

Plus a tree that grew spaghetti

And an average-looking cat.

There were napkin holders, magazines,

Some powdered beverage mix,

And the headline from a paper:

“Korkon Captures Xanthor Six!”

Then at last I came to figure out

The nature of this stunt--

This was not a real abduction,

But a space scavenger hunt!

I was just a random item,

Nothing special, nothing great,

Just a knick-knack or a doo-dad,

Like a “Sports Collectors’ Plate.”

I might never see my house again,

Or even Planet Earth,

Just to help some Martians win a prize

Of questionable worth.

Now I sit beside a trophy

And some old tortilla chips

In the closet of a dorm room

On the largest of their ships.

If I squint and stare into the stars

I might make out Earth’s Sun.

It’s so far away and tiny . . .

What the heck--at least we won!