Errand Errors

I ordered an extra-large smoothie—

That’s not what I ought to have said!

The barber just smiled, let his clippers go wild,

And shaved all the hair off my head!

I went to the juice shop much later.

I said, “Just a bit off the top.”

The juice guy, alas, drank from everyone’s glass,

And no one could get him to stop!

The next place I went was no better—

I said, “Do a balance check, please.”

It took no repeating—the baker stopped kneading

And knocked me right down to my knees!

“Put some dough in a bag,” at the next place.

I swear that I didn’t mean harm!

I just wanted bread—that’s the next thing I said!

But the bank teller hit the alarm!

And that is what happened, your honor!

It’s just like I told the reporter!

I’ve learned a big lesson—the next time, I’m guessin’

I’ll run all my errands in order!