Sunday, April 18, 2010

Dunking Booth

Step right up and test your skill!
Dunk your teachers—what a thrill!
Get three balls for just a dollar!
Dunk your teachers—make ’em holler!
Splishing, Splashing, Flailing, Freezing!
What on Earth could be more pleasing?
Just beware of what may pass
When you meet them back in class!


The ducky is lucky.
The kitty is pretty.
The froggy is soggy.
The sheepy is sleepy.
The wormy is squirmy.
The snakey is shakey.
The squirrely is curley.
The monkey is funky.
The gibbon is fibbin’.
The moley is holey.
The lion is tryin’.
The rhino is fine-o.
The gerbil is ter’ble.
The three-toed-sloth is . . . pretty good.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Cinnamon Ghost

Take care and beware
Of the Cinnamon Ghost!
He swoops through the air
Stealing cinnamon toast!

Though no one is certain
Of his size or shape,
He swishes the curtain
And swooshes the drape.

You turn, try to catch him,
But find out instead,
That no one can match him—
He’s gone with your bread!

Your lovely wheat slices,
Your warm melty butter,
Your sugars and spices—
They’re gone in a flutter!

You gape at the theft,
And the breakfast nook hums,
But all you’ve got left
Are some speckles and crumbs.

There’s no one in sight,
But you almost could swear
That a crunch of delight
Comes from Grandpa’s old chair.

Shell Games

Every seven years they gather,
Eager to compete.
The Hermit Crab and Snail Olympics,
Here on Seventh Street!

They train for months, they stretch and flex,
They wax their shells and tails,
They polish up their legs and claws,
And smooth their mucus trails.

They take the time to do things right—
Each shell a sparkling dome!
But by the time they start the race,
It’s time to go back home.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

After the Haircut

When you leave the barber’s chair,
What becomes of all your hair?
Legend has it, so they say,
Goblins cart the stuff away!
Late at night they raid the shops,
Sweep up what the barber drops.
Down beneath the ground they take it,
Fry it, salt it, lightly bake it,
Sprinkle it with spice and earth,
Then sell the stuff for twice its worth.
Every summer at the fair—
Goblin-Gathered Human Hair!
Thin as noodles, sharp as pins,
Full of healthy vitamins!
Moist, and never dry or dreadful,
Only seven bucks a headfull!
Even at the pool or beach,
Goblins keep your hair in reach.
All the Goblin men and women
Eat your hair and then go swimmin’—
(After twenty minutes rest
So the hairballs can digest).
From a bag or from a box,
Goblins love to munch your locks!
If you think that tale is gripping,
Ask about your toenail clippings!

Banana Stickers

How I love banana stickers!
Can’t throw them away!
Put a new one on my t-shirt
Every single day!

Right upon my chest I stick it,
There for all to see!
I am such a big banana!
Come and look at me!

There is just one problem, though,
Despite the joy I’ve found.
When I’m at the store they charge me
Fifty cents a pound!