Thursday, March 31, 2011

April Fool!

I’m planning out the perfect pranks
To play for April Fools!
The only day I get away
With breaking all the rules!

I’ve gift-wrapped every piece of fruit.
I’ve shorted every sheet.
I’ve done some things I shouldn’t mention
To the toilet seat.

I’ve hidden grandpa’s dentures
In my brother’s underwear.
My frog’s in Dad’s new briefcase,
I put sour cream . . . somewhere.

I pulled out the elastic from
My grandma’s favorite girdle.
I hope Mom likes her Lemon-milk—
It’s just begun to curdle!

And, just because it’s April Fools,
I crammed the riding mower
With all my week-old bubble-gum—
A garden bubble blower!

I never get in trouble!
It’s my favorite day each year!
What? April Fools was yesterday?!
I’m getting out of here!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Four Leaf Clover

I have a four leaf clover!
I found it in my yard.
I looked straight down, and there it was!
(I didn't look too hard).

I must be really lucky!
They say they're hard to find.
Of all the clovers, four-leafs are
The hard-to-findest kind!

A perfect four leaf clover,
Just sitting on the soil.
So small and green and rarely seen,
Wrapped up in shiny foil!

And when I pull the foil back,
It's chocolatey inside!
My lucky clover makes my day
Four times more yummified!

My luck is really something!
A magic trait, it's true.
Let's hope that if I find some gold,
There's candy in that too!


Rusty's Steakhouse! Come on down!
Try the finest steak in town!
While you're eating, don't you budge!
You can be a pageant judge!
Once a year we take a break
And crown our very own Miss Steak!
She must be tender, never tough.
Slightly plump is lean enough.
Interviews are never wasteful--
Juicy questions, yes, but tasteful.
Sure, we grill them to a T,
But character's a must, you see!
Okay if she's slightly saucy,
Just so long as she's not bossy.
When we're done, we crown the winner.
Then you finish off your dinner.
Some will protest that we treat
All these girls like hunks of meat.
We still feel we're playing fair--
These complaints are extra-rare.
After all, it's all good fun,
And the whole thing's so well-done!
So come to Rusty's, by the lake,
Where pageants are a big Miss Steak.

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Great Gusto!

See the Great Gusto! 
Come to the show! 
Feats to amaze you 
And make you say “Whoa!”   

She how he swooshes 
His long flowing cloak! 
Watch as his sleeves produce 
Gallons of smoke!   

Oh how his wand waves! 
It swishes and flicks 
As the Great Gusto 
Attempts all his tricks!   

He squinches his eyebrows! 
His fingers, he twitches! 
He mutters a language 
Known only to witches!   

His eyes lose their focus! 
He trembles and quakes! 
His legs start to jitter! 
His everything shakes!   

He calls on the spirits 
To come to the stage! 
He throws his black cloak 
On a bird in a cage,   

There’s a spark and a flash, 
But all that has vanished 
Is some of your cash.   

The tickets are pricey, 
They’ll never refund you, 
But still, the Great Gusto 
Has secretly stunned you!   

He can’t disappear you, 
He can’t find your card, 
But wow!  That Great Gusto— 
He sure does try hard!

Singing Day!

It’s Singing Day!  Hooray!  Hooray!
It comes just once a year. 
That holiday when things you say 
Sound better to your ear!   

When every thought inside your brain 
Becomes a singing session. 
When normal folks become insane 
With musical expression!   

Sing up!  Sing out!  Sing low!  Sing high! 
Sing everything you’re doing! 
Sing to the birdies in the sky! 
Sing to the cow that’s mooing!   

Sing songs to all your friends and foes, 
Sing to some strangers, too. 
Sing to your teensy little toes! 
Pretend they sing to you!   

If you run out of songs to sing, 
Just open up your ears. 
The wind, the trees, most everything 
Has songs to sing for years!   

They’re singing up and down the street— 
Go on and take a chance! 
But don’t forget to rest your feet— 
Next week’s the Day of Dance!