Monday, May 30, 2016

The Edge of the Neighborhood

Here at the edge of the neighborhood
When you’ve walked out farther than you know you should
Where the tree-limbs beckon you into the wood
Where the forest meets the street.

Here at the edge of the neighborhood
There’s a voice that longs to be understood
And it might be bad, and it might be good
But its call is low and sweet.

Here at the edge of the neighborhood
Where you know you’d go if you only could
For it sings bewitching brotherhood
As it tugs your willing feet.

Here at the edge of the neighborhood
Where once upon a time you stood
There’s a wisp that glows where you left for good
And made the wood complete. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Misfortune Cookies

☺︎ A great reward is waiting for your slightly racist cousin. ☺︎ 
☺︎ The wise man gets just one bad STD.  You get a dozen. ☺︎ 
☺︎ The journey of a thousand miles has not a single toilet. ☺︎ 
☺︎ Your toothbrush has been places, and you probably should boil it. ☺︎
☺︎ Your husband’s ex just had work done, and WOW she looks FANTASTIC! ☺︎ 
☺︎ In times of need, lean on your friends.  Oh wait, this one’s sarcastic. ☺︎ 
☺︎ The time approaches, very soon, to get your prostate checked. ☺︎ 
☺︎ A friend will compliment your looks, but she is incorrect. ☺︎ 
☺︎ Your daily number’s 666, plus 13 just for luck. ☺︎ 
☺︎ Now learn Chinese. Your phrase is "Nǐ hǎo làn."  It means "You suck!” ☺︎

Dragon in a Wagon

I put my dragon in my wagon
’Cause his tail was always draggin’.
Now his tail is always waggin’!
Thank you, Dragon Wagon!

I put my spider on a glider
’Cause the need for speed’s inside her.
Flew so fast, nobody spied her.
Thank you, Spider Glider!

I put my buggy in a buggy
’Cause his legs were awfully buggy.
Now he’s a less buggy buggy.
Thank you, Buggy Buggy!

I put my porcupine in a dinghy . . .

. . . um . . . just ’cause.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Commencement Address

The caps are on, the gowns are pressed,
The tassels all are straight.
You’ve fought the fight, you’ve passed the test—
It’s time to graduate!

But first, some words of wisdom from
A speaker you admire.
Some speeches sink, some soar, and some
Continue to inspire.

But none says more about you than
The speech that’s being spoken.
Despite our best laid careful plan,
The microphone is broken.

Will you sigh and roll your eyes?
Will you grouse and grumble?
Will you leap to criticize 
A speech that’s all a jumble?

It might not be what it should be,
You might not hear one word,
But if you’re clever, it could be
The best you’ve ever heard!

The best advice, the greatest quotes,
The lessons that it teaches!
The wise and witty anecdotes!
The speech to end all speeches!

The choice is always up to you—
It’s not a metaphor.
So let your education do
What education’s for.

And when the heights seem out of reach,
And no one leads the way,
Go be the graduation speech.
You’ll get there anyway.