Sunday, April 27, 2014
Take a cup of chicken soup,
Add an artichoke,
Half a pound of taco meat,
Leave a while to soak.
Then a spoon of peanut butter
And some chocolate chips,
Seven oatmeal cookies,
And a pan of bacon drips.
Half a cup of Mango Madness
Juice-Free Fruity Drink™.
Also squeeze the sponge from
Underneath the kitchen sink.
Empty out the crushed red pepper--
Needs a little kick!
Throw in that leftover cheese
That made old Rover sick.
Bake it on five-hundred
For an hour and a quarter.
Frost it with a pudding skin,
With beans around the border.
Place it in the middle of
The special crystal dish.
Bring it to the table,
Light the candles, make a wish!
Watch him take a bite and say,
"The best I ever had!"
See him fighting back the teardrops?
Happy Birthday, Dad!
Monday, April 21, 2014
Breathe in the world as you walk yourself through.
Breathe in the scent on the air.
Breathe in the green and the yellow and blue.
Breathe in the light everywhere.
Breathe in the wishes, the cares and the dreams,
Breathe in the troubles as well.
Breathe in the truth when it’s not what it seems,
Breathe in each whisper or yell.
Breathe in the bicycles, buses, and cars,
Breathe in the hum of the street.
Breathe in the twinkles that fall from the stars,
Breathe in the grass by your feet.
Breathe in the promises, broken and whole,
Breathe in what’s precious to you.
Breathe in the laughter that lifts up your soul,
Breathe in banana bread, too.
Breathe in the world, all the good and the bad,
Breathe in the hope and the doubt.
Breathe in what’s happy. Breathe in what’s sad.
And then, when you’re ready, breathe out.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Put on your bathing suit.
Take off those slippers.
Here is your snorkel,
And here are your flippers.
Smear on some sunscreeen,
Where is your hat?
Please take your swim goggles
Off of the cat!
Here’s a big towel,
And here’s your sunglasses.
What did I do with
Our public beach passes?
Blow up these water wings,
Pack up some juice.
Tighten your drawstring
So it won’t come loose.
Put on more sunscreen,
The dog licked it off.
If you wear nose plugs,
You won’t have to cough.
Go tell your brother
To get in the car.
Help find my car keys,
Wherever they are.
Go get your shovel
To dig in the sand.
Oh, here’s my car keys!
They’re here in my hand!
Put on your seat belts!
We’re off with a ZOOM!
What? Summer’s over?
Well . . . go clean your room.
Your face is washed, your teeth are brushed, you’ve got your bedtime shoes,
Good evening, kids, and welcome to the Nightly Night-Night News.
We dig beneath the surface to report your stories right--
I’m Malcolm Lupe Grant, and here’s our top story tonight.
An older woman in her home was ruthlessly attacked--
Her house was robbed, her food was eaten, property ransacked.
A struggle seems to have begun with pushin’ and with shovin’.
The older woman was discovered trapped inside her oven.
The footprints of two children were discovered in her kitchen--
Police have just released her name: Grunhildamina Witchen.
The only lead--a trail of breadcrumbs--seems to have gone cold--
So lock your cookie house up tight if you’re alone and old.
Related news--a home invading vagrant’s on the prowl,
A local family of three first told the Daily Growl.
“We’d just stepped out,” the Papa said, “to have our evening stroll.
We came back home and found a smashed up chair and empty bowl.
We went upstairs and found out that our window had been crept in--
A yellow hair was left upon the bed that she had slept in.”
Police are setting girl-traps that will snatch her out of sight.
Log on and take our poll: Too harsh? Too lenient? Or just right?
Security was breached tonight inside the Royal Palace.
Police are not yet certain if the act was done in malice.
A social function was disturbed by some gate-crashing teen:
The uninvited guest could not afford a limousine.
Instead she pulled up in a pumpkin painted like a carriage.
With jars upon her feet, she sought the Prince’s hand in marriage.
Preliminary test results showed no intoxication,
Though trace amounts of “Fairy G” deserve investigation.
That’s all the news until the morning. Thanks for tuning in.
I’m Malcolm Lupe Grant, and here’s my famous toothy grin.
“Up Late with Rumpelstiltskin”’s next, with music, talk, and laughter.
Good night, and may tomorrow bring you happily ever after.