Saturday, November 27, 2010

Pizza Pirates!

Avast, all me hearties, prepare to set sail!
Yer belly will thank ye without any fail!
The hungriest ship on the seven high seas,
It rolls over oceans for red sauce and cheese!

The Plunderin’ Pirates of Pizza are here
To loot all yer slices and then disappear!
The scurviest scoundrels are waitin’ aboard,
Each slicin’ up bread with an extra sharp sword.

They slather the slices with garlic and butter.
The Cap’n then sharpens his hook-pizza-cutter,
Preparin’ to gully and serve on a plate,
Those hot stolen pizzas—in pieces of eight!

He grins his sly grin as we land at the dock
And plunder the pizzas with awe and with shock!
We gobble each crumb ’til our bellies are weighty,
And then we have fun—and what fun we have, matey!

We loot all the tokens of glitterin' gold,
And ransack the place where the prizes are sold,
Then push all the birthday guests outta the way,
And skeeball and pinball ’til “Anchors Aweigh!”

So come be a pirate and plunder with glee!
It’s full of adventure, and refills are free!


Thanksgiving Day is here once more
And right before we feast,
We all say what we’re thankful for—
A few small things, at least.

I’m thankful for my mom and dad,
My sisters too, I guess.
And all those cookies that I had,
And all their yumminess!

I’m thankful for my goldfish tank,
And all my friends at school,
And all the juice the baby drank,
And how she doesn’t drool.

I’m thankful for the nuts that grow
Right there in our backyard.
I’m thankful that the squirrels don’t throw
Them at me very hard.

I’m thankful for my toys and stuff,
And for my monster shirt.
I’m thankful when the dog says “Ruff!”
And rolls around in dirt!

I’m thankful for my jelly beans,
I’m thankful for the moon.
I’m thankful that Thanksgiving means
It’s Christmas very soon!

I’m thankful for the kind, the brave,
The nice ones young and old,
But mostly for the microwave,
’Cause now my food is cold!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Power Chord

I want to play a power chord
On my brand new guitar.
But when I take the pick and strum
The sound won’t go too far.

What happened to my power chord?
It’s s’posed to scream and wail!
But when I pick up my guitar,
It’s just an epic fail!

Why can’t I rock my power chord
And set this song on fire?
And what’s this word “electric” mean?
And what’s this dangling wire?

Raised By

You’ve heard all the tales of the boy raised by wolves,
Or that girl who was raised by the camels.
And everyone knows of a family or two
Who behave like a pack of wild mammals.

But chances are good that you’ve not heard the story
Of two most unusual girls.
Twin sisters got lost, so they say, in the yard,
And were found by a pack of wild squirrels.

Well the squirrels were quite kindly—they took the girls in
And they raised each one up like a daughter.
They showed them which trees had the tastiest nuts
And which rain spouts gave off the best water.

The girls caught on quickly and loved the squirrel life.
It’s paradise up in the trees!
They snuggled, munched acorns, and screamed at the cat,
And leaped to the rooftop with ease.

Then one fateful day they were up in the tree
While the squirrels were off raiding the trash.
They leaped to the roof but, alas, were so big
That they busted right through with a crash!

They fell to the room where they’d lived long ago.
Going back to their kid-life was hard.
So they kept building nests and they kept hoarding food
Like they learned from their friends in the yard.

And that’s why our room is a mess, don’t you see?
For a squirrel, it’s in tip-top condition!
It’s not that we’re slobs, we just think it’s our duty
To honor our squirrely tradition!

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Wish on all the stars, my love,
The big ones and the small.
Don’t choose just one star above—
Wish wishes on them all!

A sweet wish on the twinkly star,
A wild wish on another.
A wish for friends both near and far
On that star and her brother.

A wish for love, a wish for peace,
A wish for smiles and laughter.
A wish that hope will never cease
’Til happy-ever-after.

A wish for joy throughout the Earth,
Across each land and nation.
A wish for mischief, messes, mirth
On every constellation.

A wish that all who see this star
Will know what kindness means.
A wish to have a green guitar,
A wish for jelly beans.

So many things you’re dreaming of,
So much inside of you.
So wish on all the stars, my love,
And may they all come true.

A Beastly Breakfast

I dropped a pancake on the floor!
How horrible! How awful!
I fed it to my dinosaur
And made a Belgian waffle.

The waffle got a little torn—
That bothered me the most!
I fed it to my unicorn
And made some raisin toast.

The raisin roast was charred and black.
I choked and started gaggin’!
But since I couldn’t send it back,
I fed it to my dragon.

I think I’ll make a sticky-roll.
I’d best not overheat it!
Since I don’t have a mountain troll,
I’m gonna have to eat it!