The trap doors are ready,
The springs are all loaded,
The video camera is on.
A storm of spaghetti
Will soon be exploded
All over the booby-trapped lawn.
I’ve set up the hose
And the buckets of ice,
I’ve greased all the slippery spots.
I’ve emptied my nose
On the door handles—twice!
I’ve tied all the leg-snaring knots.
There’s whipped cream pre-shaken,
And tons of trip wires,
A robot who pulls off your pants,
A vat full of bacon,
And hidden bonfires,
And mountains of flesh-eating ants!
Those punks and their leaders
Will never expect it!
I’ll post their misfortunes online!
And soon, trick-or-treaters
Will learn to respect it—
The “Take JUST ONE CANDY, Please” sign!