Yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo!

Come to the zoo!

See all the chimps and the elephants too!

Hey there!

Come to the fair!

Bring the fried pies on the rides if you dare!

Hi ho!

Come to the show!

Gaze at the stage from the very front row!

Whoa now!

No way, no how!

Not going out 'til your pants are on. Wow.

Alligator Gladiator

Frogs and fishies everywhere,

From waters far and near.

Welcome to the Aquadome!

The Battle of the Year!

In this stream swims the challenger,

The aptly named Doc Croc.

He'll send you home in stitches

If you tumble off the dock.

And in this stream, the champion--

Give cheers for Captain Caiman!

He claws, he yanks, he's climbed the ranks

Of maulin' and of maimin'!

Get ready for the main event!

A brawl to rock the shores!

A mighty Reptile Rumble

With these Angry Archosaurs!

Oh wait--it seems our challenger

Has chomped the leading judge.

She scored him low the last time,

And it seems he held a grudge.

I guess we'll have to put it off

And have the battle later.

But check that smilin' crocodile--

He sure looks glad 'e ate 'er!

A Poem for Kermit

Last week Joyce and I got to attend a very special event where we saw--live, in person--the one and only Kermit the Frog! After the show, I sent a poem backstage for him. I hope he liked it!

You can read all about it here:

http://themuppetmindset.blogspot.com/2011/07/evening-with-steve-whitmire-and-kermit.html

A Poem for Kermit

Oh froggie! My froggie! Best friend through the years!
With eyes so ping-pongy and white!
The greatest amphibian, top of your peers!
A flippy green froggy delight!

Backstage at the show, or at home in the bog—
Your "pad," or whatever you term it—
There's no cat as cool as this fine famous frog:
The one irreplaceable Kermit!

Although you have flippers, you're unflappable—
Though sometimes you break down and holler.
Your sweet, even temper becomes snappable
When Piggy gets under your collar!

Yet still, you're as sweet as a lime jelly bean!
You're wise, introspective, yet breezy.
I don't know how tough it might be, bein' green,
But Kermit sure makes it look easy!

Fuzzy Wuzzy

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,

Until they made him shave.

Turns out, with no facial hair,

He’s just some guy named Dave.

Stinky Winky was a skunk,

Until they made him shower.

With no foul and fetid funk,

He lost his special power.

Shockey Wockey was an eel,

His spark for life abounded.

’Til they made him power down—

And now he’s grim and grounded.

So go be fuzzy, go be stinky

Go be shocking, too!

Go be loud and kooky-crazy!

Go on and be YOU!

The Summit

Here at the summit it’s frosty and clear—

I am on top of it all!

This is the life for a true mountaineer,

Perched thirty thousand feet tall!

Look at the landscape—it’s tiny below!

Worries are lost in the breeze.

Each tiny moment goes by super slow,

Here up above the tall trees.

Nothing to bother me, nothing annoys,

My isolation’s complete.

Just a few frisbees and footballs and toys

Gathered around by my feet.

Off in the distance I hear a voice call,

“Inside!” it says, then starts countin’.

Oh climbing the roof was no trouble at all,

But it just might be tricky dis-mountain!

They Said

They said I was an airhead, that I was a bit insane.

I’d like to think, instead, I have a pinwheel for a brain.

And when the whistling wind seeks out my ears beneath my curls,

My brain spins all its colors as it swirls and twirls and squirrels.

They said I was bananas, that I was a little nutty.

I said, “Well, that’s a recipe for perfect muffins, buddy!

And while we’re in the kitchen, while we wait for them to bake,

You’ll see I’m sly as pumpkin pie, as cracked as crazy-cake!”

They said my mind’s in orbit, that I’m such a space cadet.

And in reply I tried to fly, then sighed and said “Not yet…”

But someday I will dance on stars and then, for what it’s worth,

I’ll send a postcard back from Mars to little them on Earth.

They said I’m strange, they said I’m odd, a windmill-tilting knight.

They said I’m weird and so bizarre—I’m proud to say they’re right!

Dear Diary

Dear Diary, I met this boy.

He's cute as cute can be.

I really really like him,

And I think he's into me!

He's got the most amazing eyes!

They're huge, and how they glitter!

The way he won't stop staring

Sets my heartbeat all a-twitter!

He's captain of the swim team—

Or he could be, if he tried.

His flippy feet propel him

With a gentle, graceful glide.

He's serious, not like those boys

Who always crack a joke.

He rarely says a thing at all,

Just sighs a little "croak."

His skin is sleek and shiny—

It's the smoothest that I've seen.

And such a pretty color, too!

A lovely shade of green!

Oh someday I will make him mine!

My love he can't resist!

(I hope this turns out better than

Those other frogs I kissed!)