Monday, June 20, 2016

Make Something!

Make something! Make something!
Craft and create!
Take what you're given
And make something great!

Make a new poem,
A painting, a dress!
Make a zucchini cake!
Go make a mess!

Make a fresh start,
Or make love and not war!
Make a mistake--
That's what making is for!

Make a cheese castle,
A pie, or a puppet!
When you are down,
Just go make something uppet!

Here is a sad song--
Now go make it better!
Life give you lemons?
Go make a fruit sweater!

And when you have made
And you come to an end,
Share it with someone--
You just made a friend!

Friday, June 17, 2016

So Much At Steak

“Oh, Waiter,” the customer called through the crowd,
“Oh why is the service so slow?!
I ordered my dinner,” he shouted out loud,
“Well over an hour ago!”

“Well, sir,” said the waiter “your steak's on its way,
But wait just a little while yet. 
We sometimes encounter a minor delay
To get the best steak we can get.”

“You see,” he continued, “we sent out our best,
A chef with a heart pure as gold. 
The daring young man ventured forth on a quest!
So brave, and so handsome and bold.”

“To pick up your steak he must climb a high mountain,
Then fight off marauders and thieves,
Then pull a gold piece from a magical fountain,
And sleep on a bed of blue leaves.”

“Before he returns, he must tumble and toss
With an army of demons and elves.
Then a dragon is guarding the Chef’s Secret Sauce--
We don't know the secret ourselves!”

“And that,” said the waiter “is why you must wait
A little bit more than the rest. 
A steak for the ages will soon fill your plate. 
The greatest! The legend! The best!”

“But why?” said the customer. “Why all this fuss?
It’s more than one diner should bear!”
“Why SIR,” said the waiter. “You asked it of us!
You ordered a steak ‘extra rare’!”

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Join The Band!

I'm strummin', he's thumbin'
We're hummin', becomin'
A purty magnificent band. 

I'm pluckin', she's shuckin' 
The chickens are cluckin'!
Oh come on and give us a hand!

I'm twangin', they're sangin',
The tots are pot-bangin',
The hound dogs are howlin' real low. 

It's you that we're missin'!
Come join the musicians
And be the best part of the show!

I'm shakin', he's quakin',
We're slappin' some bacon!
The hubcaps are takin' some hits. 

I'm scootin', she's flute-in',
But where's all the tootin'?!
Oh come make that noise from your pits!

Have You Seen My Robot?

Have you seen my robot?
I lost him at the park. 
I'm trying hard to find him now
Before it gets too dark. 

Have you seen my robot?
He's strong and made of steel. 
He's got antennas on his
Copper plated guidance wheel. 

Have you seen my robot?
His laser's at full charge. 
His warheads are so powerful
And, not to mention, large!

Have you seen my robot?
Oh, he's my favorite toy!
His human-safety switch is stuck
On "Seek Out And Destroy."

Have you seen my robot?
You'd better hope you do!
Oh wait--that's him right over there!
My robot has seen YOU!

Monday, May 30, 2016

The Edge of the Neighborhood

Here at the edge of the neighborhood
When you’ve walked out farther than you know you should
Where the tree-limbs beckon you into the wood
Where the forest meets the street.

Here at the edge of the neighborhood
There’s a voice that longs to be understood
And it might be bad, and it might be good
But its call is low and sweet.

Here at the edge of the neighborhood
Where you know you’d go if you only could
For it sings bewitching brotherhood
As it tugs your willing feet.

Here at the edge of the neighborhood
Where once upon a time you stood
There’s a wisp that glows where you left for good
And made the wood complete. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Misfortune Cookies

☺︎ A great reward is waiting for your slightly racist cousin. ☺︎ 
☺︎ The wise man gets just one bad STD.  You get a dozen. ☺︎ 
☺︎ The journey of a thousand miles has not a single toilet. ☺︎ 
☺︎ Your toothbrush has been places, and you probably should boil it. ☺︎
☺︎ Your husband’s ex just had work done, and WOW she looks FANTASTIC! ☺︎ 
☺︎ In times of need, lean on your friends.  Oh wait, this one’s sarcastic. ☺︎ 
☺︎ The time approaches, very soon, to get your prostate checked. ☺︎ 
☺︎ A friend will compliment your looks, but she is incorrect. ☺︎ 
☺︎ Your daily number’s 666, plus 13 just for luck. ☺︎ 
☺︎ Now learn Chinese. Your phrase is "Nǐ hǎo làn."  It means "You suck!” ☺︎

Dragon in a Wagon

I put my dragon in my wagon
’Cause his tail was always draggin’.
Now his tail is always waggin’!
Thank you, Dragon Wagon!

I put my spider on a glider
’Cause the need for speed’s inside her.
Flew so fast, nobody spied her.
Thank you, Spider Glider!

I put my buggy in a buggy
’Cause his legs were awfully buggy.
Now he’s a less buggy buggy.
Thank you, Buggy Buggy!

I put my porcupine in a dinghy . . .

. . . um . . . just ’cause.