No Time To Rhyme!

There’s no time to rhyme today,

No time at all!

I woke up two hours too late.

I slipped from the shower spray,

Had a great fall,

And burned half the food on my plate!

The traffic was frightening,

Ungodly, unreal!

A truck of canned turnips exploded!

A big bolt of lightning—

A clap and a peal!

And all of the lights overloaded!

And now I’m at work

And the boss is approaching

To royally chew out my hide.

That big stupid jerk

Is reproaching, encroaching,

It just boils my bran flakes inside!

So there’s no time to rhyme today.

Sorry, old friend!

My glossary’s stuck on its shelf.

But hey, it’s okay,

You can mend this loose end!

You’ll just have to fend for yourself!

Master of Allusion!

Here for every party need,

No holiday exclusion,

He’ll entertain you, guaranteed!

The Master of Allusion!

There’s nothing he won’t reference

As he weaves his magic spell.

No work he won’t show deference

As he wows his clientele.

He’s sharper than a serpent’s tooth

And fast as Mr. Fusion!

More radical than John Wilkes Booth— 

The Master of Allusion!

Behold how like a wizard

He entrances and delights!

He’s clever as a gizzard!

Curtain up and light the lights!

Like Han, he’s just a solo act—

He swears there’s NO COLLUSION!

An Indy-worthy artifact,

The Master of Allusion!

His mind is vast, his will is strong,

His gray stuff is delicious!

And when he’s done, he bids “So long,

And thanks for all the fishes!”

And then beams out, disapparates,

In clouds of thick confusion.

He’s also, as his webpage states,

A Master of Elusion!