Misfortune Cookies

☺︎ A great reward is waiting for your slightly racist cousin. ☺︎ 

☺︎ The wise man gets just one bad STD.  You get a dozen. ☺︎ 

☺︎ The journey of a thousand miles has not a single toilet. ☺︎ 

☺︎ Your toothbrush has been places, and you probably should boil it. ☺︎

☺︎ Your husband’s ex just had work done, and WOW she looks FANTASTIC! ☺︎ 

☺︎ In times of need, lean on your friends.  Oh wait, this one’s sarcastic. ☺︎ 

☺︎ The time approaches, very soon, to get your prostate checked. ☺︎ 

☺︎ A friend will compliment your looks, but she is incorrect. ☺︎ 

☺︎ Your daily number’s 666, plus 13 just for luck. ☺︎ 

☺︎ Now learn Chinese. Your phrase is "Nǐ hǎo làn."  It means "You suck!” ☺︎