A Healthy Romance

If I were a potato 

Growing down beneath a tree,

I’d always keep my eyes peeled 

Just to find the one for me. 

And if I were a cornstalk 

Growing golden up above,

I’d give the world an earful 

Just to find the one I love. 

Oh if I were a broccoli in love, 

I’d just adore it!

I’d point my car toward romance 

And, my darling, I would floret!

If I were but a pepper, 

I’d hope love would ring my bell. 

And if I were a cabbage, 

I might lose my head as well!

Oh and if I were a carrot, 

Then true love is what I’d root for. 

And if I were bamboo, 

Why then you know it’s what I’d shoot for. 

But since I am a fungus, 

And it’s you that I adore,

I hope that you’ll accept these puns—

There’s not mushroom for more!