Prince Charmin

There’s a damsel in distress!

She’s stranded on the bowl!

She cries out, “Someone help me,

For I haven’t got a roll!”

He’s at her side in seconds, 

With a speed a bit alarmin’.

He’s bold, prepared, and fearless—

Feast your eyes upon Prince Charmin!

He plunders every cabinet

To bring a fresh supply!

He’s stocked the plain, the quilted,

And the precious triple-ply.

His skills are legendary

And his smile’s a bit disarmin’.

He’s kindly and embraceable,

But please don’t squeeze Prince Charmin!

And when his job is over

And his duty has been done,

He hears a cry for help, and now

Another quest’s begun!

Prince Charmin doesn’t grumble,

And Prince Charmin doesn’t groan—

He’s destined to be next in line,

But never on the throne.