I’m starting a new diet,
’Cause I’ve got to watch my weight.
You really ought to try it--
There’s a lot to fill your plate!
For breakfast I have scrambled ick,
As much as I can take in.
I wash the taste out nice and quick
With two thick strips of fakin’.
At lunch it’s sham and tease on lie--
It slightly burns the lips.
It goes down smoother if you try
A few fauxtato chips.
At dinnertime, I choose between
“Delightful Fricken’ Tacos”
Or--just as yummy, slightly green--
“De Frightful Chicken Mock-Os”
Before I go to bed, I bake
Some frownies, fresh and hot.
Or grab a frosty cold bilkshake,
It almost hits the spot!
I weigh in every afternoon--
It never helps my mood.
I hope the weight will come off soon--
I really need some FOOD!