Sunday, May 18, 2014

Growing Out My Mustache

I’m growing out my mustache.
I haven’t shaved all year.
I’m growing out my mustache 
So it spreads from ear to ear.
Imagine how I’ll twirl it!
Imagine all the loops!
Just like a hairy roller coaster--
Hills and dives and swoops!
I may look like a garden gnome,
Or some cave dwelling troll.
I bet I’ll scare the neighbors
When I take my evening stroll.
I promise I’ll shampoo it
So it gets a golden sheen
The mousies who will nest there
Would appreciate it clean.
I’ll wear a mustache harness 
So it helps me bear the weight.
I’ll tie it in a bow-tie
When I go out on a date.
Sometimes I’ll trim it into shapes,
A facial topiary--
The Loch Ness Monster Mustache,
Seldom seen, but mighty scary!
When I curl up the edges,
I’ll have hangers for my shirts.
Oh my ginormous ‘stache will be
So beautiful it hurts!
I’m growing out my mustache
It’s the best idea I’ve had.
I haven’t shaved in seven months.
It’s half an inch--not bad!

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