Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Pests 'R Us

See the spider on the wall--
Watch his legs begin to crawl.
On the sidewalk, there’s a worm--
Watch him wiggle, watch him squirm.
There’s a mousie by the door--
Watch him scamper ’round the floor.
In the closet, there’s a moth,
Hungry for your yummy cloth.
If you just don’t want them there,
Be a pal, and have a care.
Catch them gently as can be,
Find a place to set them free.
Always try to be a friend--
You’ll be happy in the end,
For every kindness that you do
Will find its way back home to you.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Read the Chart


Close your left eye, face the chart.
Try to read the smallest part.
Lots of letters, oh so tiny!
And the light is just too shiny!
Blink your eyeballs, squint and strain,
Try to focus, rack your brain!
That might be the number 3.
Maybe that one is a V?
This one looks a little funny,
Like a Q crossed with a bunny.
And the next three you can’t guess—
Just a fuzzy bunch of mess!
Now the deep commanding voice is
Forcing you to make your choices!
Why is it so tricky when you
Order from the drive-thru menu?

Yard Sale

I asked Mom and Dad for money just to buy a game.
They said, “No, you’ve got too many, and they’re all the same.”
Then they said that if I wanted, I could sell some stuff.
Get rid of things that I don’t need until I have enough.

A dollar for these underpants, a quarter for these socks,
Three dollars for these sneakers and this string of shiny rocks.
A nickel for this lovely pair of high-heeled leather boots,
Five dollars for this briefcase and eleven three-piece suits.
A dollar for each golf club and this exercise machine,
Buy four more things and I’ll throw in this giant plasma screen.

Oh won’t my parents be so proud to see how much I’ve earned?
I’ll never ask for cash again—my lesson has been learned!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Going Down?


I like pressing every button
On the elevator.
People who are running late
Are always made much later.
Lots of fun to make them mad,
They swear and curse in rhythm.
It’s dangerous to watch, though,
'Cause it means I’m in there with 'em!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The Midnight Pizza Fairy

Late at night you lie in bed,
Alert as any owl.
You try to doze off, but instead
Your tummy starts to growl.

There’s hunger deep inside you
Too insistent to ignore.
Then, all at once, beside you
Stands a tiny little door.

A burst of light! A rush of air!
(It’s just a little scary).
Then suddenly she’s floating there—
The Midnight Pizza Fairy!

Her arms are huge, her belly’s plump,
Her tiny wings are strained.
The apron tied around her rump
Is greasy, streaked, and stained.

“I heard-a you tummy make a wish,”
She tells you as you stare.
“I bring-a you out you favorite dish!
Now don’t-a you go nowhere!”

She leaves, but soon returns once more
With boxes stacked up high.
She sets them on the bedroom floor,
Then looks you in the eye.

“I didn’t-a know what crust you like,”
She tells you as you reach.
“So I go back and tell-a Big Mike
To make-a you one of each!”

The steam pours off, so wispy,
And the mozzarella gleams.
The thin-crust is so crispy,
And the deep-dish thick as dreams.

She grabs your cheek and pats your head,
Then keeps you in her sight
Until you sit up in your bed
And take your first big bite.

A wave of pizza pleasure
Shocks and rocks you to the core.
You gobble every treasure,
But your belly begs for more!

She floats off on her little wings—
They’re green, and not too hairy.
You wait to see what else she brings,
This Midnight Pizza Fairy.

She comes back with some garlic bread,
A cheese and pasta toss,
Then levitates around your head
Three tubs of dipping sauce.

A side of eggplant parmesan,
Then four or five strombolis,
Then for dessert, hot fudge sauce on
Nine chocolate-chip cannolis.

“Mangia!” yells the fairy loudly,
“Eat it and enjoy!”
As you eat, she looks on proudly.
“Such a nice-a boy!”

Then when your belly’s good and full,
And both your eyelids droop,
She gives your blankets one last pull
And says, “You want-a some soup?”

Then tucks you in and clears the dishes,
Vanishing from sight
Until she hears your tummy’s wishes
Call tomorrow night.

Be Nice

Be nice to the birdies, be nice to the fish,
Be nice to the bear at the zoo.
Be nice to the froggie who makes a big squish
Whenever he hops on your shoe.

Be nice to your sister, your brother as well,
Be nice to your very best friend.
Be nice to the kid on the corner who fell
And busted his big old rear end.

Be nice to the nice ones and even the jerks,
For deep down inside them, it’s true,
A tiny and scared little nice person lurks
Who’s longing to be nice to you.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Work Out!


Jump straight up and come back down,
Touch your fingers to the ground.
Stretch out left, stretch out right,
Shake out loose, then scrunch up tight.
Lift your feet up off the floor,
Jog until your bottom's sore!
Move your legs, your toes, your hips,
Work off those tortilla chips!
Crunch your stomach, flex those thighs!
Everyone loves exercise!
Shower off, then dry and dress--
Don't you feel like a success?
Trim and toned, you're firm and fit.
Who'd like a banana split?