When the lights came in my window
And the ground beneath me shook,
I’ll admit that I was nervous,
And I didn’t want to look.
When they beamed me to their spaceship
In the middle of the night,
I was slightly more than nervous--
I was paralyzed with fright!
When they tossed me to one side
Between some boxes and some jars,
And they hit the gas and headed back
To race between the stars,
Then I started to be curious
And wonder for a while.
Why on Earth would they come take me
Just to toss me in a pile?
So I peeked inside the boxes,
And undid a lid or three.
What I found was most surprising--
There was nothing else like me!
First a feathered Martian poodle
Licked me with its spiky tongue,
Then I chanced to meet a rainbow bee
Who whistled while he stung.
Then a purple pickled pepper
And a three-winged jumbo bat,
Plus a tree that grew spaghetti
And an average-looking cat.
There were napkin holders, magazines,
Some powdered beverage mix,
And the headline from a paper:
“Korkon Captures Xanthor Six!”
Then at last I came to figure out
The nature of this stunt--
This was not a real abduction,
But a space scavenger hunt!
I was just a random item,
Nothing special, nothing great,
Just a knick-knack or a doo-dad,
Like a “Sports Collectors’ Plate.”
I might never see my house again,
Or even Planet Earth,
Just to help some Martians win a prize
Of questionable worth.
Now I sit beside a trophy
And some old tortilla chips
In the closet of a dorm room
On the largest of their ships.
If I squint and stare into the stars
I might make out Earth’s Sun.
It’s so far away and tiny . . .
What the heck--at least we won!