Trading Up

I traded in our guard-dog

For a guard-Tyrannosaurus.

He's trained to eat the bad guys up

And otherwise ignore us.

I traded in my skateboard

For a fire-snorting dragon.

I parked him in the carport

Next to Mom's old station wagon.

I traded action figures

For an elf and wizard army.

They swear they'll battle bullies

So they'll never try to harm me.

I traded in my homework

For a butler and a jet.

And even still, you haven't heard

My greatest trade-in yet!

I traded in my brother

For a waffle and some candy!

They even threw a yo-yo in!

Oh, trading up is dandy!