Saturday, June 12, 2010

Adventure Hotel

Welcome, my friends, to Adventure Hotel!
What wonders await you, you never can tell.
For here we take pride that each registered guest
Will get to embark on a magical quest!
The moment you start to check-in, it begins—
The managers give you mysterious grins,
Then slip you the keys to the room where you’ll stay.
They give you a wink, and you’re off on your way.

You roll down the hall with your suitcase in tow,
You find the “up arrow” and press it just so.
But some evil spirits behind the door lurk,
Who make sure that both elevators won’t work.
And so, if you hope to go rest in your room,
You bravely must conquer the “Stairwell of Doom!”
You get to the top, put your key in the slot,
You think it will open, but—GASP!—it does not!

And so you march down to the desk once again
To summon the Magical Maintenance Men.
You answer their riddles, they open your door,
You throw all your trinkets and clothes on the floor,
Then go to recharge all your strength and your power
By basking beneath the warm wonderful shower.
But fate interferes in a test of your might—
“The Shower of Shivers!” You’re frozen with fright!

But cold as you are, you still bravely endure,
And hope a hot towel will give you the cure.
You hope beyond hope as you reach for the rack.
Your fingers grasp wildly for cloth—but alack!
You find no hot towel beyond the bath stall—
In fact, you discover no towel at all!
But do you give up? Do you cower in doubt?
That’s not what Adventure Hotel is about!

No no, mighty quester, so bold and so certain,
You stride through the hallway wrapped up in the curtain
In search of the treasure, the mythical prize:
The glittering doorway that’s labeled “Supplies.”
You knock three loud knocks, but no guardian comes.
The air rushes toward you; it crackles and hums.
The door falls away as you give a great heave,
And what is inside, you can scarcely believe!

The towels! The toothpastes! The tiny shampoo!
The soaps! And the sheets! And the TP rolls too!
You grab them with glee, leaving nothing to spare!
You’ve conquered the quest, so they’re yours fair and square!
You stride to your room and you laugh in your might!
Heroic and gallant, the conquering knight!
Adventure Hotel—stay a night and you’ll see.
The room’s eighty bucks; the adventure is free!

1 comment:

    It's an Epic Poem. It's better than a video game. It's better than the ghosts who slam the hotel doors, down the halls in Banff, after dark.
    Sign me up! I've got eighty bucks to scream and laugh...but the ADVENTURE is FREE!