The sheriff rode to town one day
To make the bad guys go away.
He sat up tall upon his horse,
A-jangle-ing his spurs, of course,
And tapped the holster by his side,
Then scowled at rascals far and wide.
But none of his bravado worked!
The scoundrels scoffed and smugly smirked!
Those no-good low-down two-bit varmints
Mocked the poor old sheriff's garments!
Though he should have known much better,
There it was—his Christmas sweater!
Reindeer, snowflakes, jolly elves,
Snowmen dancing by themselves,
Candy canes and bells that jingle,
Big fat jolly old Kris Kringle!
Even all the tough outlaws
Couldn't hide their great guffaws.
Poor old sheriff! No respect!
Years of reputation—wrecked!
You just can't tame the wild wild west
While wearing such a vile vile vest!