Orange You Glad I Wrote This Poem?

I once was green with envy

When I heard my friend’s good news.

I’ve been so red with anger,

And I’ve even had the blues!

I’ve written lots of purple prose,

And I’ve been tickled pink.

My rainbow rhymes and metaphors

Are good as gold, I think.

When scared, I’m white as any sheet,

And then I feel so yellow!

But never mind—you’ll never find

A colorfuller fellow!

Cram Session

New York cheesecake, Philly cheese steak,

Texas barbecue.

Georgia peach pie, then a French fry,

Spanish omelet, too!

Belgian waffle—far from awful!

Irish soda bread.

Chew Brazil nuts with my mouth shut,

Or Dutch treats instead.

Canadian bacon, then—no fakin!—

German chocolate cake!

As for me, geography

Is one big tummy ache!

There's Gum!

There’s gum beneath the table!

There’s gum beneath my shoe!

There’s gum beneath Aunt Mabel!

Oh, what am I to do?

There’s gum inside my pocket!

Oh, how’d it get in there?

There’s gum in Grandma’s locket!

And some in Grandpa’s hair!

There’s gum behind the kitty,

And in his litter box!

And in my model city,

The gum goes on for blocks!

I wish that I could rest my face—

My cheeks are going numb!

I need to find an empty place

To stick this piece of gum!

Doggie Pants

A pack of little schnauzers

Wearing matching little trousers

Was a-barking and a-walking down the street.

Each doggie in his pants

Did a funny little dance

As he flipped and flopped his fuzzy little feet.

And the people clapped and cheered

As each schnauzer with his beard

Danced around like such a jolly little elf.

Oh, and while they were distracted,

Can you guess just what the cat did?

Well, he knocked down all the vases on the shelf!

And the vases smashed and shattered,

And the pieces crashed and clattered,

And the cat took off—he knew that he’d been bad!

Then the trouser-schnauzer pack

Ran around and circled back,

And they barked and barked ’til everyone went mad!

This story has no lesson,

If you look for one, I’m guessin’

That you’ll try and try until, at last, you fail.

But I hope you still enjoyed it,

’Cause I just could not avoid it!

Oh, it seemed like such a funny little tail!

Bee Mine

It’s almost time for Valentine!

I really hope that you’ll bee mine!

You make my heart float up on wings.

To bee without you really stings.

With you, my life is striped and fuzzy!

Bee my date, if you’re not buzzy.

What? You say you just don’t care

For bee-based wordplay everywhere?

Well, I don’t have to bee so punny . . .

Please just say you’ll bee my honey!

I’ll leave puns upon the shelf.

I promise to beehive myself!

No, wait! Don’t leave! My puns are done!

I’ve used each bee-related one!

I know that they were pretty bad,

So come have dinner at my pad!

I’m ribbeted when you are near!

I’m toad-ally in love, my dear!

Oh Valentine, my love’s no joke!

Without your love, I just might croak!

Gift Hunt

I’m trying to solve the mystery

Of what my parents got for me.

My birthday’s coming up next week—

I’ve GOT to have a present-peek!

I wait until they’re in the kitchen,

Shush my sister—no fair snitchin’—

Sneak as slowly as a snail,

And try to track the present-trail.

I find some wrapping paper scraps

Beside the chair where Grandpa naps.

The words, spelled out in bursts of blue,

Say “appy Birthda”—what a clue!

And soon I find a piece of tape

That leads me back behind the drape.

But sadly, I find nothing there.

Just ribbon—curling, not for hair.

The present must have been here once,

But I can’t find it—what a dunce!

The trail cuts off behind the curtain.

What’s my gift? I can’t be certain!

I’ll just have to wait for it.

I hope it’s a Detective Kit!

Showtime!

Got my yellow feathers on,

Practicing my walk.

Clearing out my throat again

To make the perfect squawk.

Still a little jittery,

Right behind the curtain.

Checking that my beak-flap moves,

Gotta be so certain!

Only one more scene to go

Until my big debut.

Whether I will sink or soar,

I still don’t have a clue!

Soon I’ll float above the stage,

Just flapping on my strings.

It’s so hard to be patient

When you’re waiting in the wings!

Face-off

I left my house without my face!

Oh what am I to do?

Oh darn! Oh drat! Oh deep disgrace!

I know I’m me, but who?

I feel like I am in disguise.

There’s no one in the mirror!

No cheeks! No nose! No mouth! No eyes!

I wish I could be clearer!

I never got to thank my face

For what it’s meant to me,

And now I’ve got a blank in place

Of my identity!

Does someone have a marker?

Or a crayon? Or a pen?

I’ll paint my face in darker

So it won’t come off again!