Did You Know?

I bet you think you're pretty smart. 

You know a lot of stuff!

You've studied every list and chart,

But do you know enough?

Take, for example, honey bees. 

Did you know that they sing?

They hum a tune in different keys

For everyone they sting. 

And did you know the Eiffel Tower

First was made of rope?

A June bug lives for just an hour!

Did you know that?  Nope!

Abe Lincoln had a tiny bird

He kept beneath his hat. 

It wrote his speeches--every word!

Were you aware of that?

And did you know that grapes contain 

A tiny speck of gold?

And penguins chew on sugar cane

To keep from getting cold?

I bet you didn't know that worms

Blow bubbles on the breeze. 

A corn flake has three times more germs

Than in the wettest sneeze. 

And so, my friend, please stay in school!

There's lots that you don't know yet!

Like how to keep from being fooled

By such a silly poet. 

Where Are We?

Where are the lions? Where are the bears?

Where are the zebras and pigs?

Where is the seven foot boa constrictor?

Where is the badger who digs?

Where are the meerkats? Where’s the okapi?

Where are the friendly giraffes?

Where is that funny old bird from Australia

Who hides in the treetops and laughs?

Where is the gift shop? Where are the snacks?

Where are the goats you can pet?

How come I’ve been here an hour already

And haven’t seen animals yet?

And why does that banner say “Back to School Sale”?

And who is this mob shoving through?

And why does my dad keep on rubbing his forehead

And crying out, “Lord, what a zoo!”

Cake

Blueberry Raspberry Strawberry Cake!

Delicious to munch on, but tricky to make!

You measure the flour, so powdery white,

But where’s the strawberries?  We ate them last night!

Blueberry Raspberry Cake-ity cake!

You’ll love every succulent berry-full flake!

Just one cup of sugar, a teaspoon of salt—

You smushed the raspberries?  Now how’s that my fault?!

Sigh

Blueberry Cake-ity Cake-ity cake!

Go preheat the oven, get ready to bake.

Don’t tell me—there’s something I think we’ve forgotten.

The blueberries! Right! They were moldy and rotten!

Cake-ity Cake-ity Cake-ity Cake!

The oven is broken?  Oh, gimme a break!

Just go grab some spoons, there’s no need to be flustered—

We’ll all have some Cake-ity Cake-ity Custard!

The Martians Are Coming!

The Martians are coming! The Martians are coming!

A full-scale invasion is near!

The Martians are coming! The Martians are coming!

Run madly in panic and fear!

The Martians are coming! The Martians are coming!

Oh, sound the alarms and alerts!

The Martians are coming! The Martians are coming!

Foil-line all your hats, pants, and shirts!

The Martians are coming! The Martians are coming!

Their saucers are headed this way!

The Martians are coming! The Martians are coming!

Prepare the Defender Array!

The Martians are coming! The Martians are coming!

Beware their green tentacle legs!

The Martians are coming! The Martians are coming!

Don't let them implant you with eggs!

What?

OH!

The Marshalls are coming?  The Marshalls are coming?

Our neighbors Diane and Jerome?

The Marshalls are coming!  The Marshalls are coming!

Turn out all the lights--we're not home!

Suit Yourself

Are you sick of menswear stores that tell you what to wear?

Where store clerks flip their lids if you mis-fold a pocket square?

Would you like a brand new look that stands out from the pile?

Then come on in to Suit Yourself—where you decide the style!

At Suit Yourself, you mix and match from every size and fashion

To build an outfit up from scratch that’s worthy of your passion.

Come ransack, tumble, toss, and raid our king-sized inventory

And whip up something bold, unique, that helps to tell your story.

You need a new ensemble for the corporate Christmas dance?

This pinstripe jacket would look smashing with those tiger pants!

And what about these leather boots?  They come in Plum or Peach.

Or, if you’re feeling up to it, you might try one of each!

How ’bout this ruffled dress-shirt from a key-lime green tuxedo?

These jeans have got a foil-lined pocket just for your burrito!

Our animal balloon vest really pulls out all the stops,

And, with our bubble-pants, I swear that outfit really pops!

Our Jungle Jacket line is all the rage in things sartorial,

With clean lines, classic tailoring, and prints a bit arboreal.

If you’re a tad conservative, well, we can work with that.

Try on this charcoal-three-piece with the rainbow-pinwheel hat!

Go grab a double-handful from Sock Mountain in the back,

Then close your eyes and randomize and spin the Mystery Rack!

At Suit Yourself, it’s up to you to craft your clothes conjunction.

So come on down and put the “fun” back in “wardrobe malfunction!”