I bought a One-Time Time Machine.
It only makes one trip.
It takes the laws of time and space
And makes a tiny rip.
Just one small voyage back in time,
Or forward, if you choose,
Then home again all safe and sound—
Oh, what is there to lose?
My brother Teddy told me
I should see the dinosaurs.
“They’ll eat you up,” he laughed,
“And I won’t have to hear your snores!”
And Lizzy, that’s my sister, said
“Go tug on Lincoln’s beard!
I bet it feels like kitty cats!”
She’s seven and she’s weird.
My dad said “Go to yesterday
And take the garbage out!"
“And while you’re there,” my mom chimed in,
“Eat up that Brussels sprout!”
My Uncle Steve said “Careful, kid,
The time-stream can be fickle!"
And Grandpa said, “When I was young
The movies cost a nickel!"
I said, “I’ll try the future!
I can see the planet’s DOOM!”
Then Dad said, “Just make sure you’re back
In time to clean your room.”
And then they started shouting
Every time that that could think.
"The Stone Age!" "Nineteen-Eighty-Three!"
"That time Mom's hair was pink!"
"The next big Lotto drawing!"
"Shakespeare's England!" "Renoir's France!"
"That time you went to school with
Chocolate pudding down your pants!
But in the end, I chose alone.
I only had one shot!
One chance to travel in
The One-Time Time Machine I got!
I went back to this afternoon—
I couldn’t stand the fighting—
And I un-bought the Time Machine.
But BOY was it exciting!