Opening Presents

We scooped all the ice cream, we ate all the cake,

We played “Pin The Tail On Aunt Sue” by mistake.

But then came the best part, the best birthday fun!

I opened the presents up—every last one. 

A board game—“Pants Island”—whatever that is. 

Some flash cards for school called “Geometry WIZ!”

Three pairs of pajamas, some little race cars,

Some glow in the dark non-restickable stars,

A dinosaur t-shirt, a purple kazoo,

A video game: “Panda-Monium TOO!”

Two gift cards, a washcloth, a blue pencil gripper,

A pink sleeping bag with a dangerous zipper,

A little plush frog with a surly appearance,

And clothes that were labeled “Slight Damage” and “Clearance.”

“These presents are lousy,” I said with a sigh,

Then one final package attracted my eye.

I ripped off the paper, I gave a small squeal!

“It’s just what I wanted! It's here! And it's real!

My very own jump-action, super-transforming,

With thermal-ray blaster, (both cooling and warming),

Defense-O-Bot 3000, Model X-4!”

I smiled ’til my smilers were saggy and sore. 

“It’s awesome!” I shouted. “I just can’t believe…”

And that’s when the birthday boy’s dad made me leave. 

“You weren’t invited,” he snarled with a shout. 

“So next time, just drop off your kid and GET OUT!”