We scooped all the ice cream, we ate all the cake,
We played “Pin The Tail On Aunt Sue” by mistake.
But then came the best part, the best birthday fun!
I opened the presents up—every last one.
A board game—“Pants Island”—whatever that is.
Some flash cards for school called “Geometry WIZ!”
Three pairs of pajamas, some little race cars,
Some glow in the dark non-restickable stars,
A dinosaur t-shirt, a purple kazoo,
A video game: “Panda-Monium TOO!”
Two gift cards, a washcloth, a blue pencil gripper,
A pink sleeping bag with a dangerous zipper,
A little plush frog with a surly appearance,
And clothes that were labeled “Slight Damage” and “Clearance.”
“These presents are lousy,” I said with a sigh,
Then one final package attracted my eye.
I ripped off the paper, I gave a small squeal!
“It’s just what I wanted! It's here! And it's real!
My very own jump-action, super-transforming,
With thermal-ray blaster, (both cooling and warming),
Defense-O-Bot 3000, Model X-4!”
I smiled ’til my smilers were saggy and sore.
“It’s awesome!” I shouted. “I just can’t believe…”
And that’s when the birthday boy’s dad made me leave.
“You weren’t invited,” he snarled with a shout.
“So next time, just drop off your kid and GET OUT!”