It slices! It dices! It cuts through a can!
It cooks like an oven, but cleans like a pan!
It boils seven eggs in three seconds or less!
No hassle! No problem! No clean up! No mess!
It shines all your windows and keeps your fruit crisp!
It re-packs your luggage and smooths out your lisp!
Are you sick and tired of tying your shoe?
And how many times has THIS happened to you?
If you order now you will also receive
This amazing craft book: “Forty Wigs You Can Weave!”
Plus seven screwdrivers, two wrenches, one slipper,
The JuiceBot 3000™, a grilled tofu flipper,
A gallon of purple Peruvian honey,
For six easy payments of all of your money!
Call now! We can promise complete satisfaction!
(By calling, you waive rights to all legal action.)