I ordered an extra-large smoothie—
That’s not what I ought to have said!
The barber just smiled, let his clippers go wild,
And shaved all the hair off my head!
I went to the juice shop much later.
I said, “Just a bit off the top.”
The juice guy, alas, drank from everyone’s glass,
And no one could get him to stop!
The next place I went was no better—
I said, “Do a balance check, please.”
It took no repeating—the baker stopped kneading
And knocked me right down to my knees!
“Put some dough in a bag,” at the next place.
I swear that I didn’t mean harm!
I just wanted bread—that’s the next thing I said!
But the bank teller hit the alarm!
And that is what happened, your honor!
It’s just like I told the reporter!
I’ve learned a big lesson—the next time, I’m guessin’
I’ll run all my errands in order!