Fill in the Blank!

Oh once there was (fill in the blank)

Who came from outer space.

He (blanked) on a banana peel

And fell down on his (blank).

 

The other (blanks) all tried to help—

They gathered all around.

They chanted, “Buddy!  (Blank) back up!

Don’t lie there on the (blank)!

 

The (blank) felt so encouraged

That he got back up again.

He (blanked) his spaceship up above

The little greenish (blank).

 

He (blanked) a message down to them—

Each one, he hoped to thank.

But sadly, no more words came out—

He simply drew a (blank).

A Pun-ishing Picnic

I went down to the beach today

To run and swim and build and play,

But mostly what I went there for

Was just to picnic by the shore.

My friend said she would meet me there,

And lots of snackins we would share.

But somehow she forgot the food!

Her mental note had come unglued!

“Dear friend,” said I, “do not despair!”

I flopped down on the sand right there.

I waved my arms and legs just so,

Like making angels in the snow.

I rose to see what I had done,

Then fell to make another one.

I drew each friend a pointy hat,

And no, I did not stop at that!

I drew for each a broom to ride,

Then drew a tuba by her side.

And then I rubbed the tuba out

And drew each witch a frowny pout.

“My friend,” said I, “my work is done!

Our picnic time has just begun!

Although we have no chips or cheese,

No melon balls or lemon-freeze,

No burgers, shakes, or curly fries,

No cookies, cakes, or whoopee pies,

It seems we still have all we need

We’ll have our picnic, yes indeed!

We’ll sit down where the sand itches

With tuba-lonely sand-witches!”

April Fool!

I’m planning out the perfect pranks

To play for April Fools!

The only day I get away

With breaking all the rules!

I’ve gift-wrapped every piece of fruit.

I’ve shorted every sheet.

I’ve done some things I shouldn’t mention

To the toilet seat.

I’ve hidden grandpa’s dentures

In my brother’s underwear.

My frog’s in Dad’s new briefcase,

I put sour cream . . . somewhere.

I pulled out the elastic from

My grandma’s favorite girdle.

I hope Mom likes her Lemon-milk—

It’s just begun to curdle!

And, just because it’s April Fools,

I crammed the riding mower

With all my week-old bubble-gum—

A garden bubble blower!

I never get in trouble!

It’s my favorite day each year!

What? April Fools was yesterday?!

I’m getting out of here!

Four Leaf Clover

I have a four leaf clover!
I found it in my yard.
I looked straight down, and there it was!
(I didn't look too hard).

I must be really lucky!
They say they're hard to find.
Of all the clovers, four-leafs are
The hard-to-findest kind!

A perfect four leaf clover,
Just sitting on the soil.
So small and green and rarely seen,
Wrapped up in shiny foil!

And when I pull the foil back,
It's chocolatey inside!
My lucky clover makes my day
Four times more yummified!

My luck is really something!
A magic trait, it's true.
Let's hope that if I find some gold,
There's candy in that too!

Pageant

Rusty's Steakhouse! Come on down!
Try the finest steak in town!
While you're eating, don't you budge!
You can be a pageant judge!
Once a year we take a break
And crown our very own Miss Steak!
She must be tender, never tough.
Slightly plump is lean enough.
Interviews are never wasteful--
Juicy questions, yes, but tasteful.
Sure, we grill them to a T,
But character's a must, you see!
Okay if she's slightly saucy,
Just so long as she's not bossy.
When we're done, we crown the winner.
Then you finish off your dinner.
Some will protest that we treat
All these girls like hunks of meat.
We still feel we're playing fair--
These complaints are extra-rare.
After all, it's all good fun,
And the whole thing's so well-done!
So come to Rusty's, by the lake,
Where pageants are a big Miss Steak.

The Great Gusto!

See the Great Gusto! 

Come to the show! 

Feats to amaze you 

And make you say “Whoa!”   

She how he swooshes 

His long flowing cloak! 

Watch as his sleeves produce 

Gallons of smoke!   

Oh how his wand waves! 

It swishes and flicks 

As the Great Gusto 

Attempts all his tricks!   

He squinches his eyebrows! 

His fingers, he twitches! 

He mutters a language 

Known only to witches!   

His eyes lose their focus! 

He trembles and quakes! 

His legs start to jitter! 

His everything shakes!   

He calls on the spirits 

To come to the stage! 

He throws his black cloak 

On a bird in a cage,   

Then—ALAKAZAM! 

There’s a spark and a flash, 

But all that has vanished 

Is some of your cash.   

The tickets are pricey, 

They’ll never refund you, 

But still, the Great Gusto 

Has secretly stunned you!   

He can’t disappear you, 

He can’t find your card, 

But wow!  That Great Gusto— 

He sure does try hard!

Singing Day!

It’s Singing Day!  Hooray!  Hooray!

It comes just once a year. 

That holiday when things you say 

Sound better to your ear!   

When every thought inside your brain 

Becomes a singing session. 

When normal folks become insane 

With musical expression!   

Sing up!  Sing out!  Sing low!  Sing high! 

Sing everything you’re doing! 

Sing to the birdies in the sky! 

Sing to the cow that’s mooing!   

Sing songs to all your friends and foes, 

Sing to some strangers, too. 

Sing to your teensy little toes! 

Pretend they sing to you!   

If you run out of songs to sing, 

Just open up your ears. 

The wind, the trees, most everything 

Has songs to sing for years!   

They’re singing up and down the street— 

Go on and take a chance! 

But don’t forget to rest your feet— 

Next week’s the Day of Dance!