There’s a dog beneath the table,
And he’s waiting for your food.
He doesn’t care if it’s brand new
Or if it’s been pre-chewed.
Just pass him things you do not like—
No need to throw a fit.
He’ll wolf them down without a sound—
He doesn’t mind a bit!
And even if it’s nasty,
Or a putrid shade of green,
He acts like it’s the greatest treat
His eyes have ever seen!
The dog will eat most anything—
He even likes Dad’s cooking!
Just make sure, when you feed him stuff,
Nobody else is looking.
’Cause if they catch you keeping
That fat dog from getting thinner,
They’ll make you trade him places,
And you’ll have to eat his dinner!