There’s a house down the block with a couple of signs—
Well, more than a couple, it’s true.
Every sign at the house has a couple of lines
To tell you what you must not do.
Do not ring the doorbell, do not track in dirt,
Keep off of the grass that is growing.
Do not pick the hose up and give it a squirt!
Steer clear when the mower is mowing!
Don’t sell us your cookies, don’t leave us your card,
Don’t wait for a welcoming greeting.
Stay off of the driveway—it’s just been re-tarred!
And don’t even try trick-or-treating!
Don’t loiter, don’t linger, don’t wait for a while,
Don’t walk by too fast or too slow.
Don’t fret and don’t frown and don’t smirk and don’t smile,
And don’t let your dog . . . well, you know.
Oh where the signs come from, I don’t have a clue.
It’s getting quite hard to believe!
And only one sign tells you what you may do—
In big bold red letters: PLEASE LEAVE!