Frenjamin Banklin

Oh come hear the story of Frenjamin Banklin.

He’s not in your history books.

In fact, if you mention him, many historians

Give you uncomfortable looks.

But Frenjamin Banklin’s important, you see;

He thought up ideas by the dozen!

He cooked up as many inventions and tricks

As his more respectable cousin.

While Benjamin Franklin invented the stove,

Old Frenjamin did something better.

He also discovered a way to keep warm—

The very first kitty-cat sweater!

Before old Ben F. made the bifocal lens,

He made up a lens with no focus!

He even discovered electrical power

Without all that kite hocus-pocus.

Don’t ask how he did it, it’s history’s secret,

And nobody knows it for real.

But legends remain of a sandwich-bread toaster

Hooked up to the back of an eel.

But that isn’t all that old Frenjamin Banklin

Invented, accomplished, or thunk.

When he was eleven, he bred a new poodle

That gave off the stink of a skunk!

He ran his own print shop, distributing pamphlets

On everything under the sun.

(Though just to be sure his ideas remained secret,

He bought and destroyed every one).

And when our new country was just starting out,

He thought up a national symbol:

(Though nobody liked it except Betsy Ross)

The Golden American Thimble!

So try to remember old Frenjamin Banklin,

And keep his life lesson in sight:

There’s got to be somebody getting it wrong

Before someone else gets it right!