Your Weather Forecast

It’s looking like a tricky night for weather in the city.

There’s lots of trouble on the way, and travel won’t be pretty.

The chance we'll get some thunderstorms is sixty-five percent,

Plus winds that make you say some words you’d given up for Lent.

The chance of snow’s at four percent, and three percent it’s sleet,

And two percent it’s little tiny flecks of luncheon meat.

It’s likely you’ll see dime-sized hail, no matter where you are—

Plus one just like a bowling ball that lands upon your car.

Expect to hit the tail end of a Category Four,

So stock up on your bleach and milk and white bread at the store.

We should get bolts of laser rain descending from the sky,

Plus streaks of fire that reek of angry judgment from on high.

We’ve made this nightly forecast with the best tools that we’ve got.

The chance is one percent it’s true, and ninety-nine it’s not.