Come to Howard’s Hobby Station,
Best craft store in all the nation.
For your every hobby need,
We’ve got choices, guaranteed!
Spangles, sparkles, needles, threads,
Creepy little dolly heads,
Paints and yarns and wooden dowels,
Handmade heirloom paper towels,
Glue guns, fabrics, scrapbook stencils,
Sixteen thousand colored pencils!
Beads and gems for jewelry making,
Molds and pans for custom caking,
Patches, matches, lids and latches,
Candle wax in tiny batches.
All these things in stock for sure,
Plus some hobbies more obscure—
Itchy undergarment knitting,
“Birthday Coupon” counterfeiting,
Shoelace aglet crafts for dummies,
Hooks and wraps for homemade mummies,
Google-eyed jacuzzi jets,
Cockroach taxidermy sets,
Vintage arcade game de-Froggers,
Toenail fungus catalogers,
Gerbil bunkbed-building kits,
Snowglobes made from cheesy grits,
Hand-dyed plastic pumpkin seeds,
Plus some stuff that no one needs!
Overpriced and understaffed,
We’ve got crud for every craft!
Come, expand your hobby hoard!
(No returns when you get bored).