Louie's Lazy Toys

Pry yourselves up off your couches,

Lazy girls and boys!

Come on down and browse the aisles

At Louie’s Lazy Toys!

Our cars won’t turn to robots,

And our bears don’t sing or dance.

Our little ponies sleep a lot—

They never run or prance.

We’ve sprung Jack from the box for you,

Our puzzles are all-done.

Our tricycles are stuck in “park.”

Our board games come pre-won.

Three aisles of new inaction figures—

These are just fantastic!

They’re always new and never played with,

Trapped behind the plastic.

Our trains refuse to choo-choo,

They just sit there on the track.

Our jump-ropes barely hop at all,

Our building blocks won’t stack.

At Louie’s Lazy Toys,

You’ll never need to stretch your mind.

Just buy the nearest toy,

And sit back down on your behind.

It really doesn’t matter

What you pick up from our shelves.

Just hurry down and buy one soon—

These things won’t sell themselves!