Breaking News

Good evening, I’m Chip Chipperson,

You’re watching Channel Four.

Our top story tonight:

My sandwich fell onto the floor.

The sandwich, turkey on whole wheat

With just a little cheese,

Flew off its plate when someone

Left it sitting in the breeze.

A witness happened by the scene

And saw this tragic tumble:

“It broke my heart,” said Sports Gal Sal,

“And made my cookie crumble.”

Then Lou with Weather shrugged and said,

“I told you there’d be wind.”

And Traffic-Copter Steve, who hates me,

Grinned and grinned and grinned.

More on this breaking story

After these commercial clips.

The sandwich leaves behind a pickle

And a bag of chips.