The Hybrid

They told me, “Get a hybrid!” 

That’s exactly what I did. 

I bought a car that’s half a truck 

And half a giant squid.   

It's got a flat-bed in the back, 

Its seats are smooth and sleek, 

It scares off all tailgaters 

With its giant razor-beak.   

It comes equipped with four-wheel drive 

And every new refinement. 

I rarely need to take it in 

For tentacle alignment.   

I save so much on gasoline 

I feel a little selfish— 

Just pour in half a gallon 

And a bucket full of shellfish.   

It drives up mountains smoothly 

So you never feel the motion. 

Though sometimes it prefers to prowl 

The bottom of the ocean.   

And all was going swimmingly 

Until that jerk next door 

Pulled up in half a minivan 

And half Tyrannosaur!